You Can't Lie To Me
by pjstillnoon
Summary: <html><head></head>Gillian's side of the story. Gillian's point of view. Gillian's redemption. This is an ALTERNATE VERSION OF PART 5  but not my first choice for it . This is more like 'Never Asked You To Lie To Me: Part B'.</html>
1. Chapter 1

**PJPJPJPJ**

"Cal?"

"Yeah?"

"Are we ok?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes please," Gillian pointed out even though she was worried.

A pause.

"I don't know."

Gillian was still for a moment, her heart beating in an uncomfortable way. In the dark she couldn't see her husband's face but what he had said cut through the dimness like he had physically thrown the words at her and they had stuck in her chest with precision, despite the fact that he'd used a light tone of voice. She suddenly felt inexplicably hot and threw the covers back from her torso. "Are you serious right now?" She asked, her voice sounding empty and numb. Her skin prickled with a panicked sweat. What was happening to them? They had been pretending for a long time that they were all right but it felt 'off' to her, just slightly on the wrong side of normal. Some moments seemed like everything was how it should be but sometimes, when she stopped to notice, it was like their batteries were slowly going flat. She had sensed it but now with Cal's words, she _knew_ it.

"I don't know what to think anymore," Cal added softly.

Gillian reached over and turned her light on. It was kind of hard to breathe right now.

"Ow!" Cal complained as his hands shot up to cover his eyes. "Geeze. Give me some warnin'."

"Were you serious?" Gillian demanded, sitting near his waist.

"Yes. My eyes are burnin'."

"I meant about what you said. Were you serious about that?"

Cal rubbed his eyes. He looked different to her somehow, the glow of her lamp casting him in a different light all of a sudden. "I don't know Gill. A lot has been goin' on recently."

Gillian didn't know what to say. It was probably the weight of the adoption finally starting to take its toll. She was quite aware that neither of them had dealt with it very well and now that it was all over it was an insane relief, but almost anticlimactic. The tension had built and built and then they had just got in the car and driven on home again. It seemed a bit surreal. And then there was the fact that Cal had overcome cancer not even six months ago. She hadn't coped with that very well at all and Cal had only dealt with it just enough to get by on. And yet she knew Cal. She knew him very well. He didn't take kindly to coddling. He didn't like to sit down and talk about his feelings. He only liked to talk about them on his terms. Which is why he only went to see Doctor Wu when it suited him instead of regular appointments. And that was also why he periodically blurted out how he felt about Gillian.

"It scares me when you talk like that," Gillian told him in a tight voice.

Cal lowered his hand and watched her. "I don't know what to say. I was just tryin' to be honest." He was somewhat contrite, softening the blow now.

"That's ok," Gillian softened hers too. "I'm glad you're honest with me. You don't have to say anything but if you give up on me, on us," her voice shook and she paused to take a deep breath while they stared each other in the eye. "You promised me Cal. Do you remember? You pinky swore that you would always be with me. You would always be here _with_ me," she gestured to her heart. "No matter what. You tell me all the time how much you love me. You can't just give up on that like _that_," she snapped her fingers to emphasise her point.

"I'm not givin' up. I've been fightin'."

"So keep fighting," she implored. She knew why he looked different now. He looked defeated. She had never seen him like that. Only when he had split up from Zoe. That was the only time she had seen him so utterly broken. New fear settled into her stomach and started a slow toxic spread to her nearest internal organs. She could feel her diaphragm recoil away from it.

"I'm tired," he told her simply and the poison was suddenly like lead. It dropped heavily into her intestines making her feel like she was being sucked down into a vortex and there was nothing she could do about it. She was losing this game. She could see it in Cal's eyes. She didn't know how the story was going to end, but for the first time in their entire relationship she actually felt as if she might get to the final pages alone. "That's all," he added but she knew that wasn't all.

Her first thought was to bail, to run away so she could re-gather herself in private. But then she had been there and done that and quite frankly she was lucky Cal had let her back in after she had tried. And failed. She was lucky to have Cal in the first place. This Cal. The Cal that openly admitted his faults to her, the Cal that was the strongest when she needed him the most, who put all of his pain aside to help her deal with hers, but who was here now, exhausted, essentially telling her he couldn't do that anymore (and between the lines telling her she had to take some of the burden). Gillian knew now. She had finally woken up. It was her turn. She had to stop being such a coward and face her faults too. She had married Cal knowing, _knowing_, that he was changing, morphing, growing into something beautiful. So beautiful she had wanted to be part of it.

She had run from Alec and she had justified it magnificently because he had been an addict; it was his fault. This wasn't Cal's fault though, this was her fault. She wasn't paying close enough attention, she was ignoring the things she didn't want to see, she was slipping backwards down that ladder and Cal had been propping her up for years, had been clinging on to her and yet now, he was saving himself before they both fell. And it was the right thing for him to do. Absolutely the right thing. But he could think again if he thought she was going to let go or let him let her go forever.

Gillian leaned forward and gave Cal a gentle kiss on the lips. He showed mild surprise as she pulled away again. Gillian reached over and put her light out and then she settled where she always felt the safest: in his arms, her head on his shoulder, her arm hugging over his abdomen. For the first time in years, she actually felt like she was comforting him for once. Hadn't she talked about wanting balance? Why wait for him to give it to her? She had to go and carve it out of the opportunities for herself. And not do a half ass job this time either; she really needed to step up her game. Or she would lose him for real. She had made a start in reconnecting them by helping Cal with his depression after the cancer; and he had taken more than a massive leap in letting her get close to him when he was vulnerable like that. But once again their relationship had taken a back seat to life. She had to keep going now. She had to build on that foundation. She couldn't just do half the job this time. She had to be all in.

**PJ**

Gillian crossed the border into Virginia and pulled up in front of a hotel. In the lobby she wandered slowly over to a waiting area while she scanned the crowd. She heard the ping of the elevator doors opening and turned on instinct. Sure enough, Casey stepped into view. They grinned at each other and hugged while exchanging greetings.

"You look good," Casey told her.

"Same to you."

"Is this Lily?"

"Yes," Gillian confirmed of the sleeping baby in the car seat at her feet.

Casey squeezed Gillian's arm. "Congratulations! Sorry I couldn't be there for the official naming ceremony."

"I'm glad you happen to be in town to meet her now."

"Let's get a coffee!" Casey announced.

They sat tucked away against the wall, where they could watch people while they caught up. Casey went gooey over Lily despite the fact the three month old was still asleep. The motion of the car had rocked her to slumber even though she had more awake hours during the day now.

"How was your Thanksgiving?" Gillian asked as they settled once they had ordered.

"Good. We got together with some of Mark's work colleagues; a little band of family-less migrant New Yorkers. How was yours?"

"Pretty low key. We were too tired to do anything much and Cal didn't particularly feel like being social either." They told the many invitees that they were having a quiet weekend together. They had dinner. They were thankful. They had a lot to be thankful for.

Casey nodded. "Talk about having an afterthought."

Gillian gave a bemused smile; Casey was talking about Lily. "Two of them," Gillian clarified. Even though she had longed for Lewis too he had also been an afterthought. Thanksgiving might not have meant much to Cal, who she suspected still had some residue of depression in his mind (which, coupled with the fatigue of having a new born, explained why he was being so ambivalent about their marriage), but it had meant the world to her this year. She could count on two fingers the instances she knew in which people got to literally re-write their pasts. She had corrected what had happened with Sophie. She was about ready to start calling it a miracle.

Casey nodded with sympathy. "And how are you guys coping?" She asked with a loaded tone of voice.

"Fine," Gillian replied honestly. "We're doing fine." Were they? "We're coping anyway."

"Now what does that mean? That was a thinly coated 'need to talk to my best girlfriend about something'."

Gillian gave a wry smile. "Well your timing on this visit to the city couldn't have been more perfect."

"Go ahead. I'll charge you the discounted rate and put it on your tab."

"I'm worried about my marriage."

"Again?"

"I think it's more like 'still.'"

"I thought you guys were solid since last year..."

Gillian shook her head slightly. "We were solid on pretending that everything's been fine since last year."

"Oh honey," Casey reached over and gave her wrist a slight squeeze. "What happened?"

"It's me," Gillian sighed. "I screwed up and then somehow I let Cal feel like it was his fault and even though I said I wanted to work through it, I kind of didn't. I stopped opening up to him and now I can feel a distance between us that's never been so apparent before. We started to deal but we didn't quite get there. And now that Lily's here... I'm actually scared she's going to drive a wedge between us."

"Go on," Casey encouraged stirring sugar into her coffee.

Gillian told her about the adoption. Cal's reluctance and then him warming to the idea, and even though he had eventually jumped on board with her fully, they had still been distance. Even when he discovered the lump they didn't seem to be on the same emotional level. They were like two ships sailing past each other in the night. They knew the other person was _right_ _there_ and yet they continued to miss each other. When he pushed, she happened to pull.

"You know sometimes you don't always need to search for the reason why something has happened or why someone behaves the way they do. Sometimes it's just important to acknowledge the behaviour, correct it and carry on your way," Casey noted.

"That's what I've been thinking more and more. Apologising now wouldn't feel like enough," Gillian admitted. She sighed. "I feel like I spend too much time analysing what went wrong and worrying about the past. I should just, make it right now."

"Good idea."

"Ok," Gillian gave a slight smile. Her shoulders felt lighter.

"Is that all you wanted? A second opinion?"

"Yeah, sometimes a sounding board is good."

"And if you can't talk to best friend number one because it involves him, you turn to best friend number two?" Casey gave a slight smile in return. "You'll be all right Gillian. We all get lost but you're smart. You and Cal, you're the invincible type. Doesn't mean you can't have problems like us mere mortals. But you know, you're still together and you still love each other. For a lot of couples the pressure of a second child, especially so late in life, forces them to a breaking point. I've counselled plenty of couples who were sleeping in separate bedrooms at this point. But you're both still here; no one's taken off to New York."

Here Gillian narrowed her eyes at her friend and tried not to show guilt at the fact that she had attempted to do just that, sleep in the spare bedroom. Now they didn't have one for her to run to.

"So, just keep on pushing forward. You'll get there. I have faith."

For a second Gillian thought she had said 'fate' and she felt a jolt in her chest. Fate. Fate reminded her of Lily and everything she represented to them. And it triggered the idea of something else...

"You all right?" Casey brought her back. "You zoned out on me."

"Yeah I'm ok. Just thinking," Gillian gave her another smile. A waiter came to clear the coffee cups away.

"You have somewhere you have to be?"

Gillian checked her watch. "No. Not for another hour. I have to pick Lewis up for a doctor's appointment."

"Great. Because _I_ have something I want to talk to _you_ about..."

**PJ**

"Gillian it's good to see you again."

Gillian let go of Lewis' hand to shake Doctor Rosario's and returned a greeting. She had Lily's car seat in her other hand. The little girl was awake now and eyeing up the bright coloured toys handing from her car seat's handle. The doctor bent to Lewis and greeted him too. He signed 'hello'. Gillian wished he would talk. But when he was feeling shy or insecure he clammed up. It was hard to tell if that was a normal two and a half year old thing or whether it was because he didn't trust his voice.

"And who's this?" Rosario asked of Lily, giving her cheek a rub. Lily stared up at her with almost black eyes.

"Lily," Gillian introduced while they moved to sit. Lewis hung around Gillian, attempting to climb into her lap once she had taken a seat.

"I didn't realise you were having another baby. I guess I haven't seen you in a while," she gave a warm smile.

"Lily is adopted."

"Oh right," Rosario looked a little embarrassed. She took her seat behind her desk. "So how's everything going?" She asked as she gestured towards Lewis.

Gillian finally caved and pulled Lewis into her lap. "Good. Lewis has been wearing his hearing aids all the time."

"That's good. And you've been monitoring the volume for him?"

Gillian nodded. "If we're somewhere too noisy I usually turn them down."

Rosario asked more questions about Lewis' reaction to the aids. She asked about his speech development. It was nice to focus on something that wasn't to do with the adoption or some other life-threatening disaster. It was nice to be able to focus on her son. And then of course if she needed a good distraction she could always start working on her relationship with Cal. Their effort so far was glacial.

Rosario ran a few diagnostic tests on Lewis, checking the general health of his ears and hearing. Then the doctor took him and Gillian through to another room. She took another cast of his ear so new moulds could be made. This was only his second set because he was currently in a slow growth period. As he grew more rapidly they would be upgraded more frequently. Lewis kept relatively still while Rosario worked. Gillian supposed with everything that had happened in his life so far, he was used to being attended to. Or maybe he was loving the fact that the two women were all over him and not the baby.

**PJ**

After that it was home again. Gillian set Lewis up at the kitchen table with paper and crayons and a desk-pad of newspaper to protect the wooden surface, while she fed Lily at the end in the sun and then put her down on a padded mat with an activity centre that she could bat with her hands and keep herself entertained. Gillian folded washing while Lewis babbled away to himself. Gillian listened as he half formed words and sounds like he should have been doing over six months ago. It seemed like he had been on the verge of talking like the rest of the children his age for months now. His comprehension had picked up. He knew who he was and his mother and father, Emily, Kiera, Lily, people at work. He would follow instructions and make demands; hungry, thirsty, sleepy. But as for asking questions and stringing together sentences and even expanding on his vocabulary, Gillian wasn't sure he was making progress. She made a mental note to speak to Stephanie about it tomorrow when he had his next therapy appointment.

Gillian took the washing and put it away in their respective homes. Then she sat with Lewis and asked him what they should have for dinner. He looked thoughtful for a moment and then pointed at the fridge. "Yeah, good idea," Gillian responded, reaching for a crayon. "Food is always a good idea." She made a rainbow while Lewis told her it was 'pitty' and offered her all the rest of the crayons. Gillian was adding a cloud when she heard the door.

"I'm home!" Cal yelled from the other side of the house.

"Kitchen!" Gillian called back. Lewis looked over at her. "Dad's home," she told him.

"Oh Dad's home," Lewis repeated. He turned to watch the kitchen door.

"I have to pee so bad!" Cal yelled from, Gillian guessed, the guest bathroom.

Gillian smiled to herself. "He's in the toilet," she told Lewis. She signed 'bathroom'; a 'T' hand shaken slightly from side to side

"Hands," Lewis demonstrated how he was supposed to wash them.

"Yes, good boy, he should wash his hands."

"Oh God!" Cal continued to call out. "Feels so gooood!"

Gillian laughed. "Your Dad is a very strange man." Lewis gave her a sudden smile. He reached for another crayon and offered it to her, as if saying 'that's nice, now keep drawing'. "Thank you," Gillian told him and signed the words.

Cal came into the kitchen. "Hands," Lewis told him and mimicked washing them again.

"Yes I washed my hands," Cal told him. He gave Lewis a kiss in greeting first before he bent to greet Lily on the floor. Gillian loved that he made the effort to not disrupt what Lewis was used to too much. Lewis had always had kisses first.

Gillian got up to start dinner. "You're home early."

"Yeah found a lull to sneak away in. Hey," he caught her arm as she started to move around him. He pulled her in close against him. He gave her a slow kiss, the kind that made her cheeks flush in delight. When he pulled away again his eyes were bright. Gillian gave him a smile and he gave her a grin and without either of them having to say a word they knew it meant their children were going to bed early that night.

**PJPJPJPJ**


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: No Endless, I worked over Easter. No rest for me. But I have a better work routine now so I should be able to sleep much better._

**PJPJPJPJ**

Gillian was lying close to Cal, which wasn't unusual in its self, but the fact that she had both of her arms tightly around him was different. Had they fallen asleep that way? She didn't remember.

"Hey," she spoke softly as she felt Cal stir.

"Mm," he answered. He sat up slightly, Gillian's hands trailed over his shoulder to his chest. He was warm and that temperature was so comforting. Lewis was asleep against Gillian's pillow. Which was probably why she was sleeping so close to him. "What time did the munchkin arrive?"

"I think it was five thirty."

"Delightful."

"That's what I thought," Gillian groaned her displeasure. Cal shifted again, further out of her embrace. "Wait," she clung on to him. "Stay with me a little while."

"I gotta pee," Cal told her.

Gillian let him go and watched him walk around the bed. He hadn't shaved again for a while, longer than he normally let it grow anyway, considering he shaved on a sporadic schedule. She lay down again and tried not to feel panicked or scared that he was pulling away from her. Perhaps he just needed space? Screw that, she didn't want to give him space, just like he refused to give her space several months ago...

When Cal came back Gillian opened her arms. "Come and cuddle with me."

Cal scuffed around the bed and climbed back under the covers. They settled into a full body hug. "Mmmm," Cal gave a slight groan. He pressed his face into the crook of her neck. "Ugh I'm so tired at the moment."

"Me too."

"I'm not sure it's entirely about havin' a new giblet. I think it's residual depression stuff."

Gillian smoothed her hand down his temple and Cal tilted his head back slightly to see her face. "I'm supposed to be the shrink."

Cal gave her a slight smile. "You can be the lie guy if you wanna."

Gillian kissed his forehead. "Nope. I'll just steal my role back if you don't mind."

"I don't mind." Cal gave her a smile, a genuine smile, even if it was small. He watched her for a moment and it almost looked like it was in wonder. And then Lewis broke the moment by waking up with a grizzled cry. He climbed over his mother's back to fall into the gap between their bodies. "Good mornin' terra," Cal greeted him and then lay on a wave of tickle torture. Lewis squealed and laughed and kicked out. He caught Gillian in the stomach and she immediately rolled out of bed, out of the way. She stood for a moment and watched her husband grin and tickle her son who was screeching and squirming around. She felt a peace settle over her. Peace for the first time in a long time.

**PJ**

It had been nearly four months now since Lily's birth. Their lives had fallen into a new routine. Lewis spent three full sessions in day care and two half days. Those two days were when he had speech therapy. Stephanie wasn't worried about his development; she knew Lewis would click soon and then he would talk their ears off like every other two and a half year old. When Gillian talked to Cal about it he agreed. Lewis would get there in his own time. He had always been a leaps and bounds kind of kid.

The Lightman Group was going well. Dr Roberts had learnt his job and took the pressure off Gillian's part time hours so she could work on the finances, investments, HR duties and spend time at home with Lily. Cal received a phone call from Dr Gottman in Seattle. Dr Gottman wanted to send him an outline for a manuscript he was working on; he wanted Cal to collaborate with him. Cal happily accepted, taking another well deserved break from chasing down murderers, drug dealers and the occasional terrorist for the government; especially now that they had more employees.

"I'm home!" Cal called from down the hall. Gillian could hear him talking to Lewis. She fluffed up the rice to see if it had absorbed all the water yet. "Hello my darlin'," Cal's arms encircled her waist.

"Hi," Gillian greeted. She put the lid back on the rice pot and turned the heat off.

"What's for dinna?"

"Thai green curry. Extremely mild for Lewis. Regular for me. And burn your mouth off for you," she gave him a smile over her shoulder.

Cal grinned. "Perfect. Then you can kiss my tongue betta aftawards." He placed a kiss against her neck and clung on to her. "Mmm you smell good. I thought it was dinna but nope, it's you." He nipped her neck and Gillian flinched with the desire that shot through her. Their sex life had been the first thing to go back to normal. Just as well Gillian couldn't get enough of him either.

"Hey so," Gillian started to talk and was silenced again as Cal's tongue traced her ear. Her body started a slow throb. A moan escaped her before she could stop it.

"Yes?" Cal asked politely.

"Tomorrow."

"Yes? Saturday. A very good day."

"Yes it is," Gillian sighed. They usually had sex on Saturday morning _and_ Saturday night. "But it's also three weeks until Christmas and I thought we should put up decorations. Maybe get a tree?"

"Mmm Christmas time," Cal murmured, kissing her neck again. His arms were still wrapped around her torso tightly and his body warmth coupled with the fire he was starting to build inside her, made Gillian feel hot. "Sounds like fun."

"And then Christmas shopping."

"Not fun," Cal pulled away from her. He started to set the table.

"But a necessity."

"What are you gonna get me?"

She gave him a slight smirk. "What do you want?" And she knew his mind immediately wandered to something naughty. He gave her a sly grin from across the room where he was putting down table mats.

"How about the traditional undawear?"

"For you or me?" Gillian asked innocently.

**PJ**

"Do you eva think about how much of our lives is pre-ordained?" Cal looked over to give her a careful expression.

"Uh, what do you mean?" Gillian asked.

"You know. Like fate."

Gillian did a mental 'aahhh'. "God?"

"I don't really believe in god but I've neva thought that there might be somethin' else out there eitha."

"Aliens?" Gillian asked dubiously.

"No," Cal answered seriously before he realised that Gillian was teasing him. "Like 'the spinners' or the 'fates'."

"Children's fairy tales and Greek myth?"

Cal gave her an unimpressed expression. "I mean, what if you and I were always meant to be? That Zoe and Alec were just distractions, or maybe mistakes."

"Yeah Alec was a mistake," Gillian agreed easily. Because the more time she spent with Cal the more she realised she had settled for Alec. Cal was what love was really about. And then she started to understand what Cal was saying.

"You don't eva think about 'what if'. What if you hadn't divorced Alec? Or what if you had been able to have children with him."

"That's a scary thought."

"You're not takin' this convasation seriously at all are you?"

Gillian looked up to tell him that she could do if he was serious about discussing it only to find his head turned and a thoughtful expression on his face. "What? Can you hear Lily?"

"Lewis has been quite for a while. Do you think he's up to no good?"

"Probably."

"You want me to go or... finish this?" He looked around the room. They had pulled their Christmas decorations and were starting to decorate the room. Cal was sitting on the floor untangling the mess of fairy lights that no matter how carefully they packed away, were always a mess the following year.

"You go," Gillian made her decision. "I'll take over the lights."

"Brilliant," Cal got up eagerly. He dumped the mess into her lap and rushed from the room. Gillian laughed to herself. "Oh Lewis!" She heard Cal call from across the house. He gave a loud groan and Lewis answered with chatter. She could hear Cal's low voice continue to rumble as he either told Lewis off or sorted out the mess Lewis had made. Gillian went to the bathroom to see what was going on and to tell them to be quiet so they didn't wake up Lily in the next room. There was toilet paper mounded on the floor and Cal had his hand inside a plastic bag and was digging around in the toilet bowl.

"Mom look this!" Lewis showed her a toy from the bath.

"Yeah it's cool," Gillian told him absently.

Cal looked over his shoulder at her. "Your son."

Gillian gave a slight smile. "Your son. I never would have done anything like that when I was a kid."

"Really? All innocence were you?"

"Absolutely."

"And what makes you think that I would have done somethin' like this when I was a child?"

Gillian gave him an unimpressed expression and took the toy from Lewis when he approached to offer it to her. Lewis went over to see what his father was doing. "Lewis, stay over here with me," Gillian called. She perched on the edge of the bath.

"You're right," Cal answered himself. "Pretty sure I did this to my Mum a million times." Cal turned to Lewis. "Move away from here buddy. Go and see Mum."

Lewis hovered a moment longer and then moved away, kicking his way through the mound of dry toilet paper on the floor.

"All I can say is there betta not be a little nuggety surprise at the bottom of all of this," Cal complained. Gillian wanted to laugh, but knowing Cal, he would heave a wad of wet toilet paper at her.

Lewis snatched the toy out of her grip again. "Hey. Please?" She prompted him.

"Pease, fank oooo!" Lewis sing songed. Gillian got the distinct impression he was mocking her.

Cal suddenly straightened up again. In his plastic covered hand was a soaking wad of white toilet paper. "Got it," he announced and turned the plastic bag inside out again so the paper was now in the bottom of it. He put it on the floor carefully and flushed the toilet. He watched and when he didn't start freaking out Gillian figured the blockage had been dealt with. She moved forward to help him scoop up the paper Lewis had strewn across the floor. After cleaning the bathroom up and making sure the door was firmly shut this time, they re-focussed on their decorations.

"Here Lewis, this one," Cal indicated the next screw that needed to go into the base for the Christmas tree. He gave the screw to Lewis who placed it in the hole and then used his fingers to start it. Cal took over with the screwdriver, screwing until the screw was steady but still loose and allowed Lewis to make a few turns until it was flush against the wood.

Gillian untangled another long section of lights and laid them out on the couch next to her. "You realise that I will start playing Christmas Carols soon."

"Help me," Cal muttered. "Here Lewis," he indicated the next one.

"Haf to nuse muscles."

"Yeah, use your strong muscles," Cal told him.

"It's inevitable," Gillian added lightly.

"Yeah but can we play the traditional ones? Not the ones by hip-hop artists or pop stars?"

"But you love Mariah Carey's '_All I Want For Christmas Is You_."

"Because that's traditional. Howeva, the version My Chemical Romance did isn't."

Gillian narrowed her eyes at him slightly. "How do you even know about them?"

"I'm not ancient."

"Really?" She answered sardonically.

"I had a teenage daughta in the house not so long ago rememba?"

"Ahhh," Gillian accepted that response far more easily.

"All right," Cal finished screwing the last screw in tightly. "Nice huh?" he asked Lewis.

"Pitty," Lewis announced.

Cal got to his feet. He took the stand to the corner next to his comfy chair and placed it on the carpet. "And then we get the tree," Cal told Lewis. "Can you help me with that?"

Lewis nodded solemnly. Lily started to stir so Gillian got up to get her. She brought her into the living room where Lewis was rambling on about something. Gillian set her down on her padded mat and put the activity centre over her torso so she could reach it with her hands.

"Santa bring presents," Lewis carried on conversationally.

"Typical you know all about Santa and yet when I ask you what you did durin' the day you give me that blank expression."

"Cal!" Gillian gave his shoulder a light smack. "He can hear you being snide even if he doesn't understand what you're saying."

Cal lifted Lewis under his arms. "You're gettin' heavy." He hovered him close to the top of the tree where Gillian was wrapping the last of the fairy lights.

"Here," Gillian helped Lewis attach the ornament, a golden star, by manipulating the pine needles. Lewis liked the shiny golden ornaments the best. He played with them on the floor before Gillian could convince him to actually hang them on the tree branches. Which was when they discovered he had broken three; two of them just needed new thread to hang by, the other had come apart at its joins.

The ornament attached, Cal put Lewis back on the ground. "Pitty!" Lewis announced. "Ooooh look!" He went to crouch over Lily who was lying on her back on the floor, curling her feet up to kick the activity centre over her body. "Pitty," he told her and it was hard to tell if he meant she was pretty or the tree was. He patted Lily's head in the gentle way Gillian had made sure to teach him and then stood again, proud of himself for doing his 'big brother' duties.

"Very pretty," Cal told him. The tree that was too far out of Lily's line of sight for her to see clearly anyway. "Good job." Lewis gave him a thumbs up. "What else is in the box?" He peered into it and Lewis did the same, though he had to reach on tip toes to see in.

"That one," Lewis pointed.

Cal reached for the tinsel. "This one?"

Lewis nodded, "It's shiny."

"It sure is," Cal pulled the length of silver tinsel out. He draped it around Lewis' neck while the toddler tried to remove it again. "But scratchy."

Gillian reached down to plug the lights in and turned them on. She stood back with a pleased smile. Cal watched her for a moment. Lewis finally pulled himself free of the tinsel and heaved it as far as he could. "Lookin' good," Cal told Gillian.

"It needs a few more over here," she waved a hand to show the section she was talking about.

"I meant you," Cal shot back with a cheesy grin.

Gillian turned to give Cal an expression she hadn't quite decided on yet: disparaging or smirky; and found Lewis grabbing at his crotch. "Lewis! Toilet! Quick!" What she signed was 'bathroom', a 'T' hand shaken slightly from side to side. And 'fast', her thumbs slightly between her middle and index finger, then snapped up out of the confine.

Lewis gave a squeal and rushed from the room. Cal went after him at a slower pace for some follow up supervision considering he was still hit and miss at this point. Gillian picked up the tinsel and hung it along the fireplace. Then she went back to the box and found the last of the ornaments. Her ornaments were the standard gold, red and silver, while Cal's were an eclectic mish-mash of six-year-old-Emily-made paper stars and toilet roll Santa's, sewn padded Christmas trees, plastic angels and bells.

Gillian went to the garage to get the wooden barrier they had used to confine Lewis to various parts of the house. It was on the far side beside Cal's car. In the garage she could hear water running through the pipes. She smiled to herself. Lewis was getting so interesting. If only he would just talk a little more. But then she would probably always think that... Gillian reached the opposite side of the garage and retrieved the barrier that would now keep Lewis hopefully out of the presents starting to pile up under the tree. He could climb over it easily but he might think twice about wandering over there if there was actually something in his way. Especially if there was the potential for him to get caught.

Back in the living room Cal was lifting Lewis to place the last of the ornaments on the tree. If he didn't Lewis would have decorated the bottom foot of branches only. When Cal saw her come in he came over to relieve her of the wooden barrier. He set it up around the base of the tree and told Lewis that he was to stay out of it. It wasn't time yet to open presents. He had to be a big boy and be patient and wait. It was a nice effort. Whether it worked or not remained to be seen.

**PJPJPJPJ**


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: M rated chapter_

**PJPJPJPJ**

"Hi!" Gillian greeted her husband enthusiastically. She had just gotten in herself.

"Hey," he gave her a careful smile and she noted he didn't move forward to hug her even though she was standing _right there_.

"This is the first time we've actually been home at the same time in about a week."

"Yeah," forced smile and tired eyes behind black rimmed glasses. "I've been busy at work."

"I know," Gillian responded lightly. "I just meant that I'm excited we actually get to spend the evening together instead of just seeing each other in passing in the morning." She finished removing her coat and kicking her shoes off by the door. She walked through the warm house, taking her purse to the kitchen, where she absently checked her phone as if she were waiting for a specific message she hadn't received yet.

"What do you want for dinner? I'll order in."

"Uh how about pizza?"

His face falls slightly. "Can we get Chinese? I don't feel like pizza."

And it's there again and so Gillian gives him another brilliant smile and agrees to Chinese and leaves him to ring it through while she goes to their bedroom to change. Once she pushes the door shut behind her, anger, disappointment and frustration grip her heart. She was sure he wasn't being difficult on purpose but she had reached the point where she just couldn't stand it anymore. Why ask her what she wanted if he had all ready made up his mind? Why not just say 'honey I feel like Chinese? Cool?' It wasn't like she had ever said 'no' to him. It wasn't like she had ever stood up to him. That realisation struck cold.

Alec followed her into their bedroom to also change out of his suit and for the sake of their marriage Gillian kept her tongue. No, it was for the sake of not having another argument over nothing that she kept her tongue. She dressed in no particular rush, lest she give Alec the impression that he had pissed her off yet again and then went back to the kitchen. She checked her phone again and opened a bottle of wine and thought to herself that if Alec so much as said one word about the type she had picked she was going to upend it over his head and keeping the peace be damned. She poured herself a glass and one for her husband too and took everything to the living room to wait for the food to arrive.

When Alec came in she all ready had the TV on to some news station because she knew he liked to be as informed about the world as he could get, and she didn't mind. He sat next to her on the couch and she leaned into him and he put his arm around her. Fifteen minutes later their delivery arrived and Alec got up to pay. Gillian went to get herself a plate and extra napkins because their local never gave them enough. Gillian used her chopsticks to take a selection from each of the boxes, beef noodles, rice, broccoli... Alec ate straight out of the container.

It actually turned out to be one of the nicest evenings they'd had in a long time, not just because they didn't spend so much time together these days, but because they didn't bicker or argue or snipe at each other. They were peaceful around each other. After they had eaten they switched to a current affairs programme and cuddled on the couch for longer. It was nice and Gillian was not just full and content but warm and content and feeling peaceful. Her frustration from earlier was probably just because it had been a long work day and Cal was being typical Cal and her patience was just at a low point. Alec was warm against her back and his hand trailed her arm intermittently and as she relaxed Gillian thought her life wasn't so bad and every marriage had its problems and moments when maybe they were missing each other. Alec had been working long hours for yet another elusive promotion and the least Gillian could do is be supportive and understanding. That was what being a good wife was all about.

When the show ended Alec 'did the dishes' so to speak, which meant putting the uneaten food into the fridge and throwing away the empty cartons. He put Gillian's plate in the dishwasher. They started to get ready for bed. Gillian set the machine to make coffee for the morning. She made sure doors were locked. She put her shoes away. Alec turned off lights and they met in their bedroom again. They undressed on their respective sides of the room and slipped under the covers, both in pyjama bottoms and t-shirts. "Are you going to read?" Alec asked, propping himself up on his elbow.

"Yeah maybe for a bit," Gillian slipped further down the bed and reached for her book.

"Ok," Alec responded and turned over on to his back. Gillian didn't pay attention to whatever he chose to read, she absorbed herself in her book and had a stray thought that she'd left her phone in the living room. She couldn't go and get it now. That was asking for trouble. Alec already hated that she was too much at Cal's beck and call and let's face it, if she went to get her phone now when she had already settled in bed, Alec would know exactly who she was keeping an eye out for messages from.

Gillian finished her chapter and decided it was time to put the light out. She bookmarked her page and slid the novel back on her bedside table and reached for her light. She turned over to watch Alec reading what looked like a dossier. Could she call it ironic if she wasn't allowed to bring work home because it annoyed him so much and yet it was ok for him? Or was that moronic? "Just be a minute," Alec spoke without looking at her.

"Ok," she answered amicably and went back to studying him. She could see a single silver hair nestled amongst his temple. The lines around his eyes were heavy. Something sure took its toll on him. Probably the stress of his job. But Gillian knew there were other things there too, Sophie being one of them, miscarriages and IVF. Alec licked his lips as his eyes scanned down the page, a habit he did when he was also nervous. His lips were thin and rarely ever warm.

"Done," Alec announced. He glanced over at Gillian and she gave him a patient smile. He closed his papers and returned them to his matching bedside table, pulled his glasses from his face and placed them carefully on top of the papers before turning out his light. He turned over and got comfortable.

"Did you have a good day?" Gillian asked, realising she hadn't yet.

"Yeah it was ok. How was your day?" Alec asked far more guardedly.

"Good."

"That's good," Alec offered lamely.

Gillian shifted closer to him and rested her head on her hand, her elbow on the mattress, so she was facing him in the pitch black. She was waiting for her eyes to adjust. "Are you tired?"

Alec must have known immediately what she was asking because his response was very light and conversational. "Oh you know, I'm doing ok."

Gillian leaned forward as Alec did the same and she had to use her hand to find his mouth in the darkness. She giggled as they bumped into each other awkwardly. And then her mouth found Alec's and that little darty tongue of his and she pressed herself further against him. His hands were possessive over her body and he was under her shirt in less than a minute flat. Gillian turned over, pushing blankets out of her way so she didn't get tangled up in them instead of her husband. Alec kissed her firmly and Gillian felt a slow burn start to pool in her stomach. But slow burn was about as far as it got. Alec had never been one for wild passions. He was more of a methodical worker. Maybe Gillian wasn't really in the mood after all. Either way making love with her husband was more like just having sex and she was more in her head thinking about other things than ever before. She even drifted to think about what she had to do first the following morning before telling herself to concentrate. It wasn't like Alec was lousy and he did manage to bring her to orgasm after a while... It wasn't mind blowing in the least. But then Gillian wasn't sure if it ever had been. She couldn't remember if sex with Alec had always been so mundane or whether it had become that way. And why did it bother her so much all of a sudden? It hadn't before. Maybe it should have. Maybe it would be a stronger indication that something was 'off' in her marriage because right now, she was so very confused about it.

**PJ**

Gillian tried the door. It was unlocked. She didn't knock on it anymore. She had an open invitation to be there anytime. And then of course there was the key she'd also had for years, just in case. It was warm inside and she made sure the door was securely closed again and her bag on the floor before she called out to announce her arrival. Then she started on the buttons of her coat.

"Aye, aye," Cal greeted as he came up behind her quickly.

Gillian turned before his arms could entrap her. "Hi," she greeted with a grin. Cal leaned in immediately to kiss her. His tongue traced along her closed lips and she immediately parted them to let him in. Her stomach quivered in a way that robbed her of breath as he kissed her deeply, pressing his body against hers. She took a step backwards and the wall was firm against her shoulders. Cal's hands were all over her and she wanted to cuss her head off with how quickly he set up the fire inside her. But his mouth remained hot and relentless on hers until she couldn't breathe anymore and she had to push him away. "What about dinner?" She asked weakly.

He was back a second later, continuing to spin his magic on her neck, while his hands smoothed over every inch of her front, back, thighs and arms and pushed her coat to the floor. "Are you kiddin' me?" He asked between scorching kisses.

"Yes," Gillian sighed. Her hands curled around the back of his head. "Yes I'm kidding. You're right. No idea what I was thinking."

"How do I get you out of this dress?" Cal murmured against her throat, after nipping and sucking and feeling over body again with purposeful fingers.

"Ask," Gillian could barely form that one coherent word.

"Hidden zips I should know about? It'd kill the mood if you pause to laugh at my male attempts to undress you."

Gillian smiled despite herself. It sounded like he was asking her if she had any hidden residual doubts. "No hidden zips," she whispered to the hallway. No hidden regrets either. Last night had been amazing. She had long wondered what Cal was like in bed and now she knew for sure. He was a fantastic lover. And she almost regretted waiting so long to make love with him; now she knew what she had been missing out on she wished she had taken the plunge a lot sooner. But then it was easy to look back with regrets wasn't it? It was much harder to look forward with none.

"Bedroom," she demanded. "Now."

Cal immediately pushed back from her and grabbed her by the hips. They staggered down the hallway as they kissed and started to undress. Gillian undid the top two buttons of Cal's shirt and then pulled it over his head. The expression he gave her once he was freed made her heart skip a beat. Desire. Pure desire and a little glimpse of that other expression she was sill tentatively calling love. It very well could be lust. Right now she was lusting after him too, hard. She pulled him against her again, running her fingers through his all ready dishevelled hair. She could feel her heart pounding blood recklessly around her throbbing body.

"I want you so badly," she told Cal and he gave a little grunt in response, which just renewed both of their efforts to get the other naked as fast as possible. Gillian kicked away her pumps as Cal pulled the zip in the back of her dress. He pulled it forward over her shoulders and it fell to the ground in a heap leaving her in underwear. The expression on his face was pure appreciation and Gillian felt her skin gooseflesh in anticipation. She had been thinking about last night all day. To be fair she had been turned on since she saw him arrive at the office that morning. And then she had periodically fantasised and relived last night and in general kept the fire stoked all day.

Cal stepped forward to brush his hands over her bare skin now. His mouth teased along her collarbone and down to her chest. Gillian reached for his work trousers and undid the catch quickly so she could discard them to the floor too. Cal moaned lightly as she slid hands beneath his underwear. She could feel him quivering; his entire body vibrating. He kissed her gently while he let her build the tension within him. Then he unclasped her bra and started pushing her towards the bed, his hands and mouth on her breasts.

"Oh god Cal!" Gillian breathed as she fell backwards. Cal was over her a second later, the hardness of his body pressing against hers. She already knew he kissed like a demon but now she knew how he made love too. He was everywhere at once, in exactly all the places she wanted him the most without her having to tell him. She wondered if he was reading her face or whether he really was _that_ good. Or maybe it was just that she was so damn attracted to him because this time, the second time, she was sure he only had to make her _think_ about what he was doing and she was crying out in ecstasy.

**PJPJPJPJ**


	4. Chapter 4

_Endless: officially, the scene in the last chapter with Cal and Gillian was the next night after their 'first time'. No I don't particularly plan the flashbacks. I haven't kept secret hidden chapters from the first part or any of the others to install in the later parts. They just come to me. I look for something that speaks to and is relevant to whatever the characters are going through in the current story (I think there is more impact that way and it lets you, the reader, decide on significance and make connections yourselves). In other stories, reviewers have asked if they're supposed to the characters musing on past events or just a cut away of the story. I've always seen the 'flashbacks' as the characters musing back on past events when they become relevant to what they're going through now. So yes I write them in the present. I plan for flashbacks (because it's become somewhat of a feature of the story to have flashbacks in the middle) but I only plan what they will be when I sit down and do the actual story plan. Thanks for asking :)_

**PJPJPJPJ**

Gillian could hear her phone start ringing as she walked down the corridor. She said hello to Heidi as she walked by the reception desk and started digging for the device. She pushed her office door open with her back as her fingers finally closed around the vibrating machine. The number on the screen was one that made her heart go cold. She looked over the hallway to her husband's office. She thought about going in there immediately to interrupt whatever it was that he was doing. But she thought better of it, or perhaps not better, just differently.

"Hello?" She answered politely, turning into her office and letting the door swing shut behind her. After ten minutes of conversation she was disconnecting the call again with a lump in the back of her throat that tasted a lot like the coffee she had drunk that morning and a heavy heart. She had to front up to Cal anyway. May as well do it now. Now that she could see his office door open as Dr Roberts exited.

Cal had a projection displayed against the wall, a woman in her fifties. Gillian's heels on the floor announced her arrival. He turned to give her a smile. "Hi darlin'."

"Hi."

"What's wrong?" Cal was immediately serious again.

"I just got a call from Gail," she watched as his eyes narrowed on hearing the name. She didn't have to tell him what it was about. He could guess quite accurately and he didn't even have to be the intelligent man that he was. "I told her no."

Cal quickly approached where she stood. He put his hands on her arms gently, as if he was trying to steady himself. "Really?" He searched her face like crazy and she let him because quite frankly, she hadn't instilled a lot of trust so that he didn't have to. She didn't know how she felt about it either. But she knew telling Gail 'no' was the right thing to do. There was no way she was going to touch that subject again. She had pushed her luck this last time. Her stomach hadn't even jumped for joy at the news Gail had a potential mother that she felt was a good match for them.

"Yeah. I'm done with it. You, me, Lewis and Lily. That's our family now."

Cal pulled her into a hug. "God I'm so relieved. You have no idea." Actually she did, because he felt more relaxed in her arms right now than he had in years. "I'm sorry but there is no way in hell I could have gone through all of that again. I love you and I want you to be happy and all but..."

"I know. Which is exactly why I turned her down and asked her not to call again."

"I'm so proud of you."

Gillian started to cry. Which made her feel silly. Her husband was proud of her. Isn't that what any woman wanted? He soothed her back and told her it was all right. She wasn't crying because she was upset. It was a release of tension and a long held on to belief that she was meant to have a daughter. What she hated the most was that she had come by one the hardest way possible. She was just so thankful she had woken up to the damage she was doing before she had pushed Cal away forever. Gillian had two beautiful nieces that she didn't nearly spend enough time with. And, according to Cal, in ten years, when Emily started a family, she could smother her step-grandchildren all over again.

"All right luv?"

She nodded, pulled back, wiped away her tears carefully so she didn't smudge her makeup. It wasn't like she had balled her eyes out. Just another release. "I got lost."

Cal stroked her hair back from her face. He gave her a quick kiss and a little smile. "It's all right. I've been here waitin'."

"I know," she whispered. She knew. God, she knew. She was so damn lucky. How could she look at her husband, son and daughter and not think she was? Lost was an understatement. She had been lost, confused, blinded. And it was something she had to find her own way back from. Cal had been there waiting for her and she knew he was all along and then it had been a case of finding her way again while Cal shone like a million candle watts to guide her way. She had Cal, hope and fate and this time she really meant it when she said that was all she wanted. That was all she needed.

"Give me anotha hug," Cal demanded gently, pulling her into his embrace again. Gillian stepped closer to him. She put her arms around his shoulders and clung on and all of a sudden tears were flowing again. "What's wrong?" Cal asked softly.

"I've been so stupid. I could have lost you forever. I got so close to repeating the same stupid mistakes I made with Alec and loving him is nothing like loving you."

Cal's hand made an absent circle on her back. He held her tightly. But to his credit he didn't shush her or tell her she was being silly.

"I disconnected from my marriage with Alec and I refuse to make that same mistake again."

"You know. I might be a face reada but I'm not a mind reada. I need you to talk to me, tell me what's goin' on in your head."

"I know."

"I should have asked you before, but to be honest, I was afraid of what you might tell me."

"I know," Gillian sobbed.

"We were a time bomb waiting to go off. Could you feel it?"

"Yes. I could. But I didn't know how to fix it and so I did the cowardly thing. God, I feel so terrible."

Cal's hand smoothed along her neck and shoulders. "It's all right luv. Cos we'll fix this togetha. We are fixin' it. It's all right."

**PJ**

"So you have to go to sleep like a good boy and then Santa will come when you wake up," Cal told Lewis as they had final cuddles in Cal's comfy chair. The tree was in the corner behind his left shoulder. With the fairy lights on and the lamps the room had a warm cosy feeling to it and Gillian was looking forward to getting cuddles from Cal too, in a minute, when Lewis finally went to bed. Lily was already down.

"Santa," Lewis's eyes lit up.

"But you have to go to sleep. Because Santa won't come if you're awake," Cal reiterated seriously. Gillian pretended to read on the couch. She wasn't paying attention to the words. She was listening to Cal. He had read 'the Night Before Christmas' and 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' as well as the traditional 'Little Yellow Digger' and Lewis's new favourite book about a unicorn. "All right buddy. Give Mum a kiss." Gillian could see Cal's hands move out of the corner of her eye. His movements were so much more fluid now; he seemed to have found his confidence. She wasn't entirely sure when exactly because she had been too busy worrying about herself... but he signed beautifully and she was so proud of him and how he was with Lewis all of the time...

Lewis approached and Gillian pulled him up on top of her body where she lay on her back on the couch. She gave him a tight hug and kisses and told him to have sweet dreams. Lewis babbled about something that sounded a lot like 'and then Santa will be here'. What Gillian heard was 'Santa' and 'here'. "Goodnight Lewis," Gillian told him. "I love you."

"Love ooooo," Lewis returned and slid down over the side of her body and the couch until his feet were on the ground again.

Gillian listened to the low rumble of Cal's voice in the other room. A minute later he dropped onto the other end of the couch. Gillian sat up and shifted so she was sitting in his lap, her arms around his neck. She gave his cheek a kiss. The goatee had taken some getting used to but Cal had grown it in to cover the scars from surgery. He didn't like looking at them every day. In return, he shaved his cheeks clean.

"And what would you like for Christmas young lady?"

"Mm more of the young."

"Are you tryin' to subtly tell me you want a boy toy for Christmas?"

Gillian shook her head at him. "Are you trying to imply I'm rejecting my Christmas present from six years ago?"

Cal gave a little wince as he thought back to what she was talking about.

"Christmas party. Many moons ago," Gillian prompted.

"Oh yeah," Cal feigned remembering. "To be fair. It started long before then."

Gillian watched him for a moment. She knew he hadn't always been entirely plutonic with his feelings towards her when he had been married... but was he really going to admit that to her right now?

"My office. Several months before Christmas?"

"Of course," Gillian felt relieved. She turned her head to see Lewis was approaching where they were sitting. "I'll get this one. You get the next."

"Still want to stick by four times? I mean," Cal made an exaggerated show of checking his watch as Gillian got up. "It's only eight oh seven."

"Yes four," Gillian answered as she took Lewis's hand. "I'm being hopeful he'll be asleep before nine thirty." She walked Lewis slowly back to his room. She tucked him back under his covers and gave him another kiss. "It's bed time," she told him firmly, the only time she would acknowledge him and left his room again. Cal bet Lewis would come out eight times this evening, with the excitement of Christmas Eve. Gillian had guessed four. Cal thought she was guessing too low.

Cal was reading Gillian's book when she returned. "Interesting?" she asked him.

He closed it abruptly. "Just wonderin' what it's about."

"Uh huh," Gillian told him in clear disbelief. She took her seat within his arms again. They sat in silence for a moment. "How are you doing?"

"I'm all right. You?"

"Thinking about how Christmas could have been this year."

"What does that mean luv?"

"Lily. Cancer."

"There is a bit of that," Cal agreed. The white lights of the tree were beautiful in a magical way. "Gill?"

"Yeah," she smoothed her hand along his shoulder.

"I know you're tyin' right now."

Her hand stilled.

"I mean, I know you're workin' on your stuff."

Gillian sensed a 'but'.

"No, no butt's," Cal told her. "I just wanted to acknowledge that you're workin' on it and you're doin' a great job and that I have noticed this whole time."

"Thanks," she whispered in response, loving that Cal noticed, that he said something, and that the way he talked sent warmth around her heart in a comforting caress.

"That's all I want for Christmas. Is for us to be on the right track again. I feel like we're gettin' there." Gillian's heart melted a little only to be propped up by Cal's embrace again. "Just want to say I love you."

Gillian hugged her husband tighter. "I love you too."

**PJ**

"Mum! Wake up!" Lewis came running in to their room, the door banging back against the wall. If their son yelling hadn't woken her, the bang of the door against the wall sure would have. Gillian turned over as Cal gave an audible complaint.

"Oh god!" Cal groaned from his side of the bed.

"Mum!" Lewis reached the bed and pulled himself on to the mattress by the blanket. "Santa! Santa!"

It was cute the way Lewis got flustered with words when he was excited. He climbed roughly over her body and Gillian was done with thinking she might be able to pretend she was still asleep. Especially when she heard Lily start to stir on the monitor, the banging door had probably woken her too. Gillian waited for her to start crying. Lewis found a space on the mattress and jumped up and down on it.

"Ugh," Cal groaned again and sat up to capture Lewis into the tickle monster's arms. Gillian caught several blows of Lewis's heels while he squirmed about and laughed so hard he reached the point where Gillian wasn't sure he could breathe anymore. She sat up and moved out of her son's way before he left bruises. She glared at the clock on her way to picking up her bed clothes and putting her shirt back on. It was early. So very early. She pulled clean underwear from a drawer and wrapped her bathrobe around her body. Lewis had come out six times last night and seeing as neither Gillian nor Cal would concede on who won the bet they had fallen into bed and made love to each other. Not entirely a smart move when their two and a half year old was bound to get up at the crack of the crack of dawn the following morning.

It was chilly and Gillian hugged her arms around her body tightly. Cal let Lewis escape with a light punishment and gave another growl as Gillian pulled back the curtains to reveal a white laden landscape. Lewis regained his breath lying flat in the middle of their bed. "A white Christmas," Cal noted and sang a few lines from the song in the deep husky voice of his.

"Presents!" Lewis announced like they had forgotten and it was lucky he had. He started worming his way across the mattress. "Present time!"

"First!" Cal told him before he could wriggle his way off the bed. Lewis turned to his father. "Hearin' aids," Cal told him and made the sign, his finger crooked over his ear to mimic the device.

Lewis gave him an expression they both knew so well. That was his calculating expression. That was the expression that said he was thinking about defying them but was also weighing up his options. "Lewis," Cal warned him.

"Let's go," Gillian announced. She grabbed socks from her other drawer on the way past. Lewis raced through the door before her. She went to his room for his hearing aids and to his credit, Lewis did follow her and stood, not completely still, while she placed them and turned them on. When she was done Lewis gave a squeal and ran for the door again. Gillian thought about stopping him to change his diaper. "Ah screw it," she said to herself and pulled a pair of his underpants from his drawer to follow him to the living room. She could take the wet one off him later.

Cal was in there starting the fire while Lewis pointed out all the new presents that had arrived over night. "Santa!" He repeated. "Santa! Oh look! Presents!"

"He definitely wasn't this excited last year," Cal noted.

Gillian pressed a kiss to the top of her husband's head. "No," she agreed simply. "Better let him go for it before he spontaneously combusts."

"All right, all right!" Cal called over the excited chattering of their son. He lifted the barrier out of the way and Lewis dived to his knees, grabbing the first present. "Wait!" Cal told him. "Is it for you?"

Lewis looked confused as he gripped the box, fingering the shiny paper with dancing reindeer. "Does it have your name on it?" Cal signed 'name'. "Here let me see," he reached forward but Lewis refused to relinquish. Cal leaned in to peer at the name tag knowing full well who the present was for. Gillian thought about objecting but then, she could also concede, Lewis had to learn not everything was his or was for him. There were a handful of presents under that tree that were actually for his parents and Lily. "Look it's got an 'L' for Lewis on it," Cal pointed.

"Eel," Lewis echoed.

"For Lewis," Cal repeated.

"Fah Lewbis."

"That's you," Cal told him.

"Me," Lewis agreed.

"You can open it," Cal told him.

"You've confused him," Gillian interjected taking a seat in Cal's armchair so she was close to the action. She leaned forward to press her hands against Cal's shoulders. "Did Lily go back to sleep?"

"She wasn't awake when I checked on her," Cal responded. He tilted his head back slightly to make eye contact. "One for you my darlin'?"

"I thought my present was last night," Gillian responded with a smirk.

Cal gave her a grin. "I'm sure there's somethin' from Santa unda the tree for you too luv." Cal reached for a present and Lewis decided he wasn't being watched now and so the present was absolutely off his parent's radar. He ripped the wrapping off in several rushed hand movements.

"Oh look!" His voice rose so high it almost got lost in his excitement. "Dad look!"

"Wow," Cal exaggerated his enthusiasm. "That's very, very cool."

Lewis fingered the shiny box until his father handed him another wrapped gift and suddenly the train set wasn't so interesting anymore.

Cal handed Gillian a small package. "From Santa," he told her.

Shit he was so cute sometimes. She leaned down to give him another kiss. She already had her presents from Santa. Cal, Lewis and Lily. Happiness and bliss. Love and peace. Hope and Fate.

**PJ**

Gillian looked over at her husband's naked back. She could see the curve of his spine sticking out through his skin more than it normally would; a residue of the weight he had lost while in the hospital several months ago. She noted he needed a haircut and that she should probably try fattening him up a little. He had always been lean, but not bony thin.

"I thought you were goin' to sleep?"

"Mm," Gillian turned on to her side. "I decided I wasn't sleepy." Probably the mega-load of sugar she'd had for dessert. Even Lewis, who had woken early and tore around the house like a manic puppy had taken his time going to sleep this evening; too much sugar and excitement. "Do you want me to put the light out?"

Cal turned over to face her and wriggled his body closer to hers. He petted the hair back from her face and curled his fingers around her ear, then down the curve of her neck to her bare shoulder. "You could put it out," he mused lightly. "Or you could leave it on..." His hand snaked under the bedclothes. He held her eye while he smoothed fingers over her bare stomach to the curve of her waist and hip. "But while you're up."

Gillian gave him a slight smirky smile. "And you're up?" She raised an eyebrow as he got closer to her.

"Well fancy that," Cal's tone oozed sex. He pressed his lips against hers gently. Gillian opened her mouth against him, tasting him deeply. Cal's hand tightened against her hip and he pressed on her slightly with his weight so she turned over on to her back.

"Make love to me?" Gillian whispered against his mouth.

"Thought you'd neva ask," Cal murmured back.

**PJPJPJPJ**


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: well, first and foremost, thank you one and all for your reviews. They made me laugh (in a warm fuzzy way) and I really needed that at the moment. I've been feeling a little insecure about this saga and even my future on ffnet. Review numbers are dropping and I've worried that you have all lost interest in this story and in me as an author. But then I got a really nice PM tonight. That person said they STILL got 'excited' about my updates etc and looked forward to them so very much and after reading the reviews for C4, I guess I feel like we're both on track... Maybe?_

_Cloe: I drew a blank about Christmas in part 2 so now even I have to go back and find it! I also hope, with the flashbacks, that I can keep my own cannon straight! (Got me a little worried there!) I fully remember you asking what Lewis looks like (on several occasions, sorry, didn't mean to ignore you) and I think I meant to write in a description into this story but clearly didn't quite get there. You can piece it together from the snippets of information revealed throughout the saga (and this is going off the top of my head)... I know in part 4 (or 3?) Lewis was described as having his hair cut, so his curls were gone and his hair had darkened from blonde to a brown (which I guess makes him like Gillian still in that department). He's blue eyed (because both his parents are and the conversation Cal and Emily have about the brown eyed Lily). Um... I'm pretty sure Lewis was described as small for his age, taking after the short statured Cal. Cal said something about Lewis having Gillian's nose (part 3, I checked). Wasn't there a crack Cal made about being grateful the only thing Lewis inherited from him were his ears? I don't know what else to say. In my mind, Lewis looks like Lewis (squealing and funny and smiling). I guess he looks more like Gillian than Cal, but then Emily said he looks like Cal now that he's getting older and well, people say I look just like my mother AND my father, so really, at the end of the day, you can decide what/who Lewis looks like yourself :)_

_Endless: yeah, I know, I sometimes forget that this saga's cannon started at the END of season one. It's just gotten so big that it's hard to keep track of some of the smaller details and keep it separate from the show. _

_P.S. World's longest AN #FTW. _

_And also, M-ish rated chapter. _

**PJPJPJPJ**

Gillian looked up to the knock on her office door. It was open and so the knocker walked in after announcing his arrival. "Alec," she greeted, not sure if she should be suspicious or welcoming or what.

"Hi Gillian."

Suddenly his smile didn't seem so warm or secretive, but cold and calculating. Ok maybe that wasn't fair, maybe it was more that his smile wasn't for her anymore and so it lacked something. It was the polite smile of a stranger. Gillian found it hard to believe she used to kiss those lips. Or that she had seen this man naked.

"Alec," Gillian greeted him cordially. She didn't get up from her desk to greet him in any other way. What she wanted to ask was 'what do you want?' but surely he would get to that point soon enough. She doubted this was a social visit. She hadn't seen him in so long... since they had talked about selling their house.

"I won't stay long," he supplied as he sat. "Just wanted to let you know I've spoken to my lawyer, with the house sold, everything can move on now."

He seemed sincere but there was just something about him that made Gillian feel uneasy now. Probably because he had seen her naked. And the guy who now got to see her naked was fifteen feet across the hall. She never thought she would be sitting her under these circumstances. She had always believed marriage should be forever. She always thought that no matter what happened she would find a way through, with the right partner, whatever life threw at her. Marriage was about being a team and communicating even when it was hard and not giving up. And yet here was Alec, telling her to expect divorce papers to sign.

"Thanks for stopping by to let me know," she responded while thinking he could have picked up a phone to tell her that.

"I didn't want to make an impersonal phone call," Alec licked his lips in his own signature nervous gesture and Gillian wondered if it was as hard for him to be here as it is for her. As they had gotten to the end she wondered if he even felt anything towards her anymore. "You know," he gestured and she knows now, she understands, he's saying sorry and that he wished it hadn't come to this and no hard feelings...

Gillian gave him a tight smile. She nodded in a way that she hoped he knew meant that she never meant for it to happen this way either. Alec got up again. There was no farewell, no words or empty gestures like hugging or shaking hands. Alec gave her a tight lipped smile of his own and she can see in his eyes that this is goodbye. Her expression softened and she gave a little nod. He showed himself out and she watched his back disappear down the corridor and though back to days when he would come to see her at work to take her to lunch, or with flowers on her birthday or their anniversary.

Cal strolled into her office five minutes later. "Guess who I ran into in the hallway?"

"I don't know," Gillian responded casually until she knew who he was talking about.

"One Mista Alec Fosta."

"Oh god really?" She got up from behind her desk.

"It was fine," Cal slipped his hand into hers and pulled her closer against him. "We got out the measurin' sticks."

"Oh really?" Gillian smirked as she shifted her weight to her back foot to keep from pressing up against him. "And how did you come off?"

"Well you should know that darlin'," Cal murmured in her ear as he stepped in close to her.

Gillian giggled as Cal kissed under her ear. She gave a sigh and him a gentle push. "Not here."  
>Cal pouted. "Tonight?"<p>

"Of course."

"Come ova, I'll cook dinna," Cal suggested as he backed up towards the door.

"Are we actually going to eat first or should I snack before I head over?"

Cal pretended to think and then shot her a very wicked expression. "Snack first."

**PJ**

Cal kissed along her neck and kept her from moving with the weight of his body pressing against hers. Her hands gripped his shoulders; it was hard tell if she was resisting or giving in. She had started out trying to push him away a little but now it seemed like she was just clinging on to him. "Are you tryin' to fight me?" Cal asked lightly.

"I barely walked through the door," Gillian breathed. To be fair, they both had, literally, just walked through the door. Cal had her pinned up against the wall before the lock had even clicked back into place.

"I can't wait any longa."

"Are you trying to convince me that I can't wait either?"

"Yep," Cal growled close to her ear. He felt her shiver and smiled.

"I haven't even had the chance to look at our hotel room."

"Hmm," Cal mused, he pulled back abruptly, grabbed her wrist and pulled her from the wall and into his arms. He walked backwards into the centre of the room and then stalked around her so she could see the room. Then he started kissing her neck from behind. He let her hand go and smoothed his along the fabric of the thin dress she was wearing; down her hip, along her stomach, her ribs, skirting just under her breasts. She sunk back into him, her fingers curling around Cal's arms, her head tilting back, her eyes closed. "You're not gonna see anythin' like that," Cal told her.

She gave a funny kind of breath that was a cross between a sudden intake and a huff. Cal smiled again. "Don't get too smug about it," she warned lightly.

"Me?" Cal asked innocently.

"You know we don't have to fall into bed straight away."

'_Are you kiddin' me?_' Cal thought. What was a honeymoon if not an excuse to have sex for five days straight? Gillian squirmed this time, rubbing her ass against him. It elicited another growl out of Cal and for a second he felt like control was slipping out of his grasp, so he moved with her. He snaked his arm around her waist to hold her firmly and danced her in a slow circle to the beat of his heart. Gillian's hands reached around behind him to rest on his thighs, he could feel her fingers gripping tightly. Cal used that time to figure out how to take her dress off her. It wasn't form fitting which mean there probably wasn't a hidden zip or anything but it would certainly kill the delicate mood he was slowly weaving around them if he had to stop and ask her, or attempted to pull it over her head only to find it didn't fit.

Gillian gave a little sigh. Her head rested on his shoulder giving Cal the perfect view of her lips as she moistened them slightly, her teeth tugging at her bottom lip in an attempt to ground herself. God damn but she was so beautiful. And she was his wife! _His_ wife! Cal brought up a hand to smooth down her cheek, over her jaw bone; his new wedding band glowed in the light. He lowered his mouth to plant a sweet kiss just below her ear and took that opportunity to breathe in the smell of her. Her perfume was sweet and light and underneath that there was that smell that was Gillian; it was on his sheets and his pillow and sometimes on his clothes and it made his stomach swoon for her.

Cal smoothed a strap of her dress over her shoulder gently, a desire to feel her skin under his fingertips more than anything. She was so soft. So sweet. So beautiful and she was his now. His wife. He wasn't going to screw it up this time. This time it would be different. He had bulldozed Zoe and he wasn't going to make that mistake again. He was going to be different. He was determined. He wasn't going to drag Gillian down to his level; he was going to climb up to hers.

The room was warm. Well, the weather was warm this close to the equator. And Cal's skin quickly grew damp beneath his clothes. Gillian pushed the other strap of her dress down her arms and pulled away from him slightly so the material would shimmer down her body and fall to the floor. She turned to face him and stood before him in a strapless bra and matching underwear and those impossibly sexy pumps. Cal stared, absorbing in the image of his new wife. Did he mention she was sexy as hell too? Because she was. So damn sexy. She stepped towards him, her eyes dark, her skin flushed. She pushed his suit jacket off his shoulders and down his arms, letting it fall to the floor in a heap. Then she slowly undid the buttons of his shirt, one by one, slowly making her way down his chest. Cal watched her face while she concentrated. He kept his hands to himself; for now he just wanted to watch.

Gillian pushed the material of his shirt down his shoulders too, to his wrists. She took them each in turn and undid the buttons at the cuffs and freed him. Then she reached for the hem of his undershirt and pulled it up his body. This was far more intimate than Cal had thought it was going to be. She wasn't feeling him up, or really even touching him in anyway and yet the sheer _thought_ of her doing so and the gentle way in which she undressed him had his body quivering slightly. Cal watched as her lips parted slightly so she could get air faster. He could barely detect the rise and fall of her chest. She was loving this as much as he was. The colour in her cheeks got deeper as she reached for his belt buckle. Cal wondered when her resolve would crack. He wondered when his would.

She pulled the belt out of its loops and threw it to the floor in a smooth and controlled move. She undid the button of his trousers and it was like they were discovering each other all over again but were in absolutely no hurry to do so. Like they had forever for this. They did have forever right? Cal watched Gillian's hands, the thin wedding band newly adorned on her finger an attractive addition to sexy fingers. Gillian pushed his trousers over his hips and let them fall to the floor. Cal dutifully kicked his shoes off and his trousers along with them. He bent to peel off damp socks, letting his bare toes curl into the thick rug beneath his feet. Gillian held his hand and waited patiently and when he was standing again, at eye level with her in those heels, she almost seemed to be asking him if he was ready.

She took a step backwards and Cal followed her to the bed. It was raised up so that when she sat on it she was still in line with Cal's hips. She kicked her shoes off and parted her legs and pulled him to stand between them as she hooked them onto his waist. But instead of sitting there and waiting for him to take control Gillian leaned forward and slipped her fingers beneath the elastic of his briefs. She looked up at him as she pushed the material down over his thighs and let the item of clothing fall to the floor. The look in her eyes was so hard to decide on; innocence, sexy, fire, hunger, lust. She took him in both hands, stroked lightly, teased and all the while she looked up at him, watching his face. And then a challenge. It was his turn again.

Cal brought his hands up to her back and smoothed over her bra. No catch. He gave her a little raised eyebrow and she gave a slight smile. Did he mention she could be naughty sometimes? So damn naughty. Cal could feel her eyes on him intently while he unclasped her bra from the front, his fingers pressing into the firm softness of her breasts while he worked. Cal watched as sweat glistened across her skin as he successfully rid her of the first item of underwear. He threw it gently to the floor, every action controlled and calm. The first time they had sex had been frantic. And he loved that kind of pace but Gillian had slowed this time down; for the first time making love to his wife it seemed entirely appropriate. Besides, he could shag her up against the wall later. Five whole days for that.

Gillian lay back against the mattress, her eyes fluttering closed as Cal's hands smoothed down her waist and hips. He could feel her legs quivering against his waist as he hooked fingers under the elastic of her thong. He pulled it slowly over the top of her thighs, watching her face as he moved so deliberately. A little furrow appeared between her eyebrows and he knew that despite her outward calm and self control, she wanted him badly. Cal stepped away to pull her underwear over her feet; her toes were curled tightly. He could see her blood flushing the skin of her chest now and he wondered what the hell was going on in her head because he hadn't even started to consciously drive her wild yet.

When she couldn't feel Cal return immediately Gillian opened her eyes again in time to watch him kneel down in front of her. He moved her legs gently over his shoulders and slipped his hands under her butt, rising her slightly up so he had better access and oh god! The expression on his face as he leaned into her was so full of tenderness she just about lost it right then and there. He pressed his mouth against her so softly it was like every inch of her body was waiting for it, straining to feel him more. She whimpered. She couldn't help it. He was so excruciatingly slow and tender and gentle with her it heightened every sense to a whole new level.

He used his tongue to explore every facet of her, to tease every inch like he had all the time in the world, like he didn't want to skip over or miss any opportunity. Gillian held back and held back because she never wanted it to end. It felt like she was right on the verge of release forever before she couldn't take it any longer and rewarded Cal with a long moan, the desperate repetitive call of his name and her hands clutching at the one part of him that she could reach, his wrists disappearing beneath her backside.

Cal straightened to his feet and when his head was within reach Gillian grabbed him and pulled him in sharply for a deep kiss. She felt the warmth of the full length of his body wash over her. "I want you," she murmured against his mouth. "Now." She reached a hand and found him and guided him to just exactly where she wanted him. He scrambled to find space on the bed and half lifted, half dragged her further across the mattress so there was room for him too. He pushed into her and seemed stunned for a moment. Gillian didn't ask him what that was about, she didn't want to lose an iota of momentum right now. She could feel every cell crying out to be closer to him. She tilted her hips and wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, as high as she could reach so he pushed into her deeper and deeper. She pressed him in tighter, clung on to his shoulders to get closer, as if she could literally melt into the skin of his chest.

Gillian brought her mouth up to kiss him again, waiting patiently for him to gather himself again, delighting in her ability to make him lost for a second, just like he did to her. She could feel his body throbbing with a warmth and a desire just as strong as hers and any doubts, not that she'd had _any_, about their strength as a couple, about their ability to make their marriage work flew out of the window. They were connected in a way no one else was. They were connected in a way she'd never felt before. She knew, she just knew, that they would be fine, together forever; this was true love and nothing would destroy that.

Cal readjusted his weight on his hands and pushed his hips back. The friction of him moving against her sent electricity through Gillian's nerves. She arched her back into him, her breath coming in a gasp. Then Cal pushed back, sending the current to her head; her scalp prickled. Her hands slipped against his slick back and she knew she had no hope in hell of having any control over this moment right here. Quite frankly she didn't want to. She wanted to get lost in Cal, her husband. Her _husband_.

Gillian could feel her body tighten and wind up, racing forward to that place she had been many times but hadn't truly appreciated until Cal had taken her there. She had been there before, many, many times, but it was like Cal knew secrets about her even she didn't know about. With him as her guide it was so much more vibrant, brilliant, exciting, the sense of achievement so much more delicious. She caved, she fell, she spiralled out of control, and Cal was right there with her; their bodies shuddering and swirling together, united by invisible connections that bound stronger than ropes or empty words.

Tears slipped out of Gillian's eyes to mix with the sweat on her face; not necessarily an emotional reaction but an overwhelming surge of relief. She wasn't sobbing her eyes out and she didn't feel the need to cry but she could feel the tears were there and she knew they meant something significant because Cal was the only man that had elicited that kind of response out of her. Gillian squirmed against the bed as the aftermath continued to lap through her. The room was scorching hot but without Cal there she felt dismally colder. And then he was back and he practically picked her up to move her to the pillow. She turned and placed herself over his chest, not yet ready to be separated from him.

"You're fantastic," Cal told the room gently. His fingers trailed lazily up her bare back.

"No you're fantastic," Gillian managed words. It sounded like a complaint. In some ways it was. This beautiful man, he happened to outdo her in so many ways. Gillian kissed his neck and then his lips and shifted to lie beside him so he could breathe without the weight of her there.

Cal smoothed back the damp hair from her forehead tenderly. "All right?"

She nodded. "That was phenomenal."

Cal gave a slight smile. All she could see in his eyes was love. That adoration and love and it made her stomach nervous. "You're phenomenal," Cal told her without even a hint of teasing or humour. He really meant that.

"Promise me we'll always be together. No matter what."

Cal shifted his hand and offered her his pinky finger. Gillian gave him a little frown of amusement. Was he serious? Cal was offering to pinky swear? Shouldn't he make a more serious offer? She wanted words.

"My mutha used to pinky promise me."

Oh god he was serious! He couldn't be more serious. Gillian quickly shifted her hand to entwine her much smaller finger around his littlest. Her stomach churned with the meaning of the gesture. A pinky swear would never mean the same to her ever again.

"I promise I will always be here with you."

Gillian nodded. Suddenly she couldn't find the words. Cal watched her sincerely. He squeezed her finger with his. "I will neva break that promise."

**PJPJPJPJ**


	6. Chapter 6

_AN: M rated chapter._

**PJPJPJPJ**

"I really appreciate your help on this one Lightman. This guy has played every game in the book with us and I really want to nail him this time."

"He sounds like a delightful characta," Cal mused as he read through the thick file the FBI had collated on John Douglas.

"Hey Ben!" Gillian greeted enthusiastically as she entered Cal's office. "Really long time no see."

"Gillian," Ben Reynolds gave her a warm smile. They had a brief, friendly, polite hug around the shoulders. "How you doing? You look good."

"Thank you. I'm fine. You look well yourself."

Reynolds' smile was one of pride. "I keep ok." Then he ran his hand along the back of his neck. "I heard you had another baby."

Gillian smiled broadly. "We adopted a little girl, Lily."

"That's really great," Reynolds replied warmly.

"Can you stop flirtin' with my wife?" Cal requested lightly. "I _am_ in the room."

Gillian shot Cal an unimpressed expression. "It's nice to see you again Ben."

"You too," the FBI agent replied sounding a little embarrassed now.

Gillian moved around Ben. "And you," she directed at Cal. "I came by to say hello to."

"Good-o," Cal replied, his attention still on the file. Gillian planted a kiss on his cheek. Cal looked up as Gillian started to walk away and gave her a private kind of smile. He didn't miss hers just as she started to turn away.

"I'll leave you boys to it," she said before disappearing into Cal's study so she could cut through the corridor on the other side.

"So what have you got him on suspicion of this time?"

"Rape again," Reynolds answered immediately. "But the evidence is circumstantial at best."

"No DNA?" Cal cut in.

"Nope. The victims can't be sure of an identification. What we need is a solid confession."

"Right," Cal agreed. He closed the folder. "When does he get here?"

Reynolds checked his watch. "Should be any minute."

"Meet you there then," Cal shoved the folder in his direction and took off to follow his wife. She was sitting at her desk, paperwork in front of her, Lily on her lap, a chew toy in her fist; she's teething. "Hi," Gillian greeted him with a smile. "Look its Daddy," Gillian murmured into Lily's ear before giving her head a kiss.

"Incomin' bad guy," Cal warned her. "So maybe stay put for a while." He crossed her office to close the internal blinds to block his girls from prying eyes. His actions were meant to protect their children if they were in the building, but Cal didn't mind so much that it also sheltered Gillian at the same time. He would make sure the bad guy couldn't see them, so he couldn't then use them.

"Ok," Gillian agreed amicably. Lily babbled and waved the hard plastic she was soothing her gums on.

"Make sure your Mum behaves," Cal told Lily as he kissed her head too and then leaned over to kiss his wife.

"Wave bye bye to Daddy," Gillian told Lily. Cal waved from the doorway before stepping into the corridor. He strode down the hallway to find Loker; he was already setting up the Cube for the interview. Doctor Roberts was there too, consulting the file Reynolds was waving around. As Cal strolled in his attention was immediately draw to the Doctor. His shoulders were set tense and the expression on his face, it raised a warning flag in Cal's chest. But before he could act on it Reynolds was talking to him about the interview. He had a specific agenda that he wanted Cal to play along with: he wanted a clear confession; he needed one to be able to arrest this guy.

John Douglas was a serial rapist. But he was also cold and calculating and didn't take his victims by sheer opportunity. He hunted them down like animals and then treated them as such. The women that had come forward so far were only a few and as with any case dealing with rape, it was probably safe to assume there were more who were too ashamed to speak out. He was a man who would only serve society in a constructive way by being behind bars. When Douglas was brought in Cal was surprised to find someone of a small stature, a lean physique; he looked a bit like Cal did.

Cal took an instant dislike to Douglas and then shoved it aside. He needed to be professional and detached; leave his emotions at the door. He couldn't help but think about if it were Gillian's name was on that list and tried harder to clamp down on his emotions. The effort had him concentrating so hard he wasn't entirely sure what happened next. He became aware of yelling. Doctor Roberts had crossed the room to where another FBI agent was bringing Douglas into the room for the interview in the Cube. Roberts approached rapidly, his voice raised, violence on his face. Cal snapped into action, beating Loker, who was just pushing back his chair from his desk. He reached Roberts and pulled back on his raised arm, tugging the anger and force out of the punch that hadn't been thrown yet.

"My office now!" He hollered in the younger man's ear. He caught a slight smirk on Douglas's face as the FBI agent pulled him out of the way of the wrath. Cal man-handled Paul out the door and into the hallway. He started to protest but Cal just yelled over the top of him and continued to shove him down the hallway to his office. Employees around them stopped what they were doing to watch the show. Cal was aware of them out of the corner of his eye but it didn't stop him.

"What the bloody hell was that all about?" Cal asked once the door had slammed shut. He was aware now of his heart pounding and his breath coming in agitated bursts. He wasn't sure if that was from the reaction Roberts had given in there or the effort of dragging him out again. "I take it you know Douglas then?"

Roberts was also in the process of catching his breath. His face had gone red and the anger expression he wore in the Cube was still on his features; except now he looked more annoyed. "Well?" Cal asked stepping into his personal space. It wasn't about seeing his face better; it was about forcing an answer.

Cal's office door opened suddenly and Gillian came in. "What's going on?" She asked as she let it slam shut behind her again.

"Roberts was just tellin' me how he knows the suspect."

Paul looked ashamed and tried to step out of Cal's gaze. Cal followed him of course until Gillian's hands on his shoulder and arm intervened and pulled him back gently. She called to him but he wasn't interested in what she had to say. "I don't like bein' lied to," Cal growled at Roberts. "Jenna? Melissa? Helen? Penny? Lauren? Lauren it is," Cal carried on. "Wife? Fiancé? Girlfriend? Sister? Fiancé it is." He finally stepped back and left Roberts with that. He turned to Gillian who looked a little stunned. "Did you know?"

"Cal," she started.

"Did you know?" Cal repeated firmly and watched her face.

"Of course I didn't know," Gillian responded quietly as if she lowered her voice enough Roberts wouldn't be able to hear them. He was standing less than three feet away.

"Cos you see I might start to think this is a conspiracy of some sort," Cal gestured towards her.

"For God's sake," she muttered at him annoyed and turned to leave. She didn't slam the door on her way out which is in its own way, far more of a statement than if she had.

Cal turned back to Roberts, who seemed to be a little bit more in control of himself now. "Did you feed her the same lie you fed me?"

"She never asked. It never came up."

Cal gave a short sharp nod. "So that line about your Grandmotha? That was just for me?"

"You have to understand Doctor Lightman. You asked me and I tried to tell you the truth."

"I was there," Cal responded snidely. "I rememba."

"I didn't think you would take the line about my Grandmother. I thought you would see through it straight away. But I didn't want my past to affect the chances of me getting a job here."

"Did you apply for this job to get close to Douglas?"

"How could I even know that the FBI would bring him by here one day?"

Cal already knew that but he wanted to see sincerity on the younger man. "You stay away from him," he pointed a finger suddenly. "Go home. I don't want to see you for the rest of the day."

Roberts opened his mouth to protest.

"Don't even botha," Cal growled at him. "You are so far off this case residents in Timbucktoo are close-a to it."

Roberts looked annoyed now.

"You played this wrong, I hope you realise," Cal added.

Roberts looked abashed.

"But just so you know," Cal added. "I will nail this bastard to the wall, not because it's personal, but because he's scum and should have been locked up years ago." He turned to walk towards his office door. His hand rested on the door handle and he hesitated. "By the way, I'm sorry. Your fiancé," he offered over his shoulder and then pulled the door open. "And I did know right from the start," and he strode out.

**PJ**

Cal spent four hours in the Cube wearing Douglas down into a confession. By the end he was exhausted. It was harder trying to keep Gillian and Roberts out of his head while playing his mind games. When he emerged he found Roberts had in fact gone home like instructed but had called every hour just about on the hour to ask for a progress update. Gillian had taken Lily to pick Lewis up from day care. They were at home. It was late in the afternoon. It could almost be considered evening. Cal decided to call it a day.

Gillian met him at the internal garage door. She held a finger up to her lips, the international signal to be quiet. Cal signed 'why?': touching the fingers of his right hand against his forehead and forming them into a 'Y' hand shape as he brought his hand away, the palm still facing him.

Gillian finger-spelled the abbreviation of Lewis's name and then 'bad: pressing the fingers of her right hand against her lips and then moving them away and down so her palm was facing the floor.

Cal came up the step and she didn't move back out of his way. "Hi," he greeted her.

"Hi," she gave him a slight smile. She leaned in to give him a quick kiss; a no hard feelings kind of kiss.

"What did Lewis do?" Cal asked as they moved into the house. He figured the toddler was sitting a time out somewhere in the house, hence the reason Gillian told him to be quiet. His father coming home was exciting and would cause more trouble while he was supposed to be under punishment.

"Hitting again."

"Is Lily alright?"

"Yes. He didn't use an implement this time."

They moved into the kitchen. Lily was sitting on the floor in the sun. She had a pillow behind her, even though she didn't need it anymore, and in front of her were an assortment of solid and interactive plastic toys. She let out a cry as she spotted her mother and reached out for her, toppling off her perch. Gillian waited for the little girl to pick herself up and when she struggled leaned down to lift her to her hip. She sat in the sun as well, but this time on the seat beneath the windows.

"So how'd it go?" She asked carefully, adjusting Lily's shirt while the baby tried to turn around in her mother's arms.

Cal dropped heavily to the cushion next to her. "With Douglas?"

"Yes."

"Got a confession."

"Good," Gillian responded firmly. She brought her eyes to meet his and the meaning was doubly clear. She had put herself in the same situation too. Cal gave a nod. "And Roberts?" She raised her eyebrows slightly.

"He went home," Cal answered.

"I know. He called me."

Cal waited. Gillian waited. Lily lunged for the floor. Gillian put her back on the mat with her toys. Lily protested so Gillian knelt and played with some of the toys to get her interested and also distracted. When Gillian straightened up again she gave Cal an expectant expression. Cal waited for her to take her seat again. "Don't make me ask you," Gillian told him.

"He's in my bad books but he's not out on his arse."

"Good."

"Did you know the grandmotha story was a lie?"

"No," Gillian gave him a straight face. "It didn't come up. Did you know?"

"Yeah. But there was truth in his conviction. The grandmotha part he had trouble sellin'."

Gillian nodded. She checked her watch. "And you hired him anyway? Even though he lied to you during the interview?"

"They all lie durin' their intaview," Cal answered as if it were obvious. "But his heart was in the right place."

Gillian gave him a nod and a slight smile. She rubbed his thigh with her hand before getting up. "I shall go and get your son. And then maybe, if you're not too tired, we could go for a walk in the sun?"

"Sure," Cal agreed easily. "Sounds like a plan."

**PJ**

"Cal?"

"Hmm?" He turned over slightly, disorientated about the time and the place. He seemed to be in bed. And Gillian was leaning over him.

"Hey," she greeted gently as she climbed over his torso to sit on his belly. Cal opened his eyes but saw little more than the outline of her body in the darkened room. He gave a grunt and pushed at her thighs to make her sit back further so he could breathe. "Are you awake Cal?" Gillian's voice was close again and he could smell alcohol on her breath.

"No I'm asleep," he retorted.

"I had so much fun tonight."

"That's good," he muttered closing his eyes again.

Her lips pressed against his. "Thank you for babysitting."

"Uh huh," Cal replied. Gillian captured his mouth and slipped her tongue against his and then he could taste whatever it was that she had been drinking. It was sweet. "Are you drunk darlin'?" He asked curiously when she pulled away again. His heart was already beating faster.

"Maybe a little bit," Gillian admitted. Cal could hear a rustling of clothing and opened his eyes in time to see her strip off the top she had worn out that evening. It was a shame it was dark. His hands shifted to her hips, searching out the bare skin.

"How did you get home?"

"I got a cab," she murmured as she leaned in to him again. Cal met her mouth, tasting the sweetness of her and cocktails. "I'm so hot for you Cal."

Cal's stomach flipped over. "Oh God," he growled. Gillian shifted off him and found her way under the bed covers. "What time is it?" Cal requested.

"It's really not that late," Gillian replied, her hands feeling in every direction, under the blankets, then ripping them away.

"Hey!" Cal complained. "I'm sleepin'."

Hands on his torso and then much lower. "No you're not."

"I'm," Cal started and then his breath hitched of its own accord. Gillian pulled back his underwear and gripped him before leaning down to take him in her mouth. He bucked slightly and gave a strangled cuss. It took him a second to get over the hot shock of her. "Gill," he tried again but it came out more like a whimper and he decided he didn't give a toss if it was some early hour of the morning, or that the pace of this, whatever this was, was a bit more intense than he usually preferred, or that his wife was slightly or very pissed. Even drunk her tongue was magic. He threaded his fingers through her hair and then caressed down her arm. She shifted slightly and he wished he could see. He reached his other arm out for the lamp on his night stand. He was too far away.

Gillian pulled away from him. "Cal," her voice was strained too. But that was all she said before she climbed over him again and ground herself down slowly onto his lap. Cal gave another little groan as the searing heat of her mouth was replaced by the overwhelming heat of her body. His hands shifted to her hips. She leaned forward slightly so he moved his hands forward to smooth over her arse before her flesh connected with his abdomen. "Oh Cal," she groaned. "I hate this position."

"I know that," he responded working his hands up the smooth skin of her back. He found her bra and undid it. Gillian pulled it from her shoulders and threw it to the ground. "We discovered that years ago rememba?"

She gave a huff and Cal felt her balance shift slightly. "I want you to do me." And then she slid off of him.

Cal gave a long groan at the loss of contact, making sure to keep his voice as soft as he could; Lily was in the next room after all. He turned over immediately to seek out the warmth again in the dark. He followed the sound of Gillian's erratic breathing and the feel of her skin under his finger tips. He found his way up the inside of her thighs. She moaned in response, squirmed, grabbed his wrists, forcing him higher. "You're really very naughty you know that?" Cal told her. "You still have your underwear on." He reached under her skirt and found the edges of elastic and tugged.

"Hurry up!" Gillian complained loudly.

Cal shushed her hurriedly. "You have to be quiet," he whispered. "Please be quiet."

"Funny," Gillian noted, shifting slightly. "Cos I recall a time when you were very quiet in bed and then all of a sudden discovered how much fun it was to talk." She took a sharp breath as Cal pushed her skirt up and out of the way, continuing to guess and feel his way in the darkness. "Talk to me."

"So long as you be quiet," Cal responded leaning over her as he slid fingers against her.

"I promise!" Gillian called to the ceiling.

"That's not bein' quiet," Cal reprimanded, withdrawing his hand. He shifted further up her body. "Show me you can be a good girl," he murmured and kissed what he thought was the side of her neck. He was close, it was her jaw. She turned her head and kissed him hotly while pressing her hips against him, her hands taking a possessive hold of his biceps.

"I can be a good girl," she told him.

"I know you can. And you can also be a very naughty girl," Cal responded.

"Mmm yeah, tell me just how naughty."

Cal pushed against her and she immediately shifted to give him better access. Her legs hooked around his waist and pulled him in deeper. "Oh god yes!" She cried out. "That's what I wanted. All evening."

"Then why did you go out?" Cal murmured. "You could have stayed in."

"Ugh Kate's friend Maria started it," Gillian complained. Her hands shifted to his shoulders, bracing as he pulled away from her and then back. "She kept talking about this guy she was seeing and their sex life and then Kate started comparing and I felt left out."

"You told them about our sex life?"

"No!" Gillian was adamant. "Not all of it."

"I'm not gonna be able to look Kate in the eye next time I see her."

"Relax," Gillian patted his shoulder. "I didn't give them details."

Cal gave a grunt. "Not sure that makes me feel betta."

"I told them you were huge. Very well endowed."

"Well that bit is at least true."

Gillian giggled a half second before Cal started laughing. "What am I laughin' for?" Cal asked the room. "That shouldn't be funny."

Gillian gave a sigh. "It's cos it's true that's why it's funny."

"It's funny cos I can't imagine you tellin' anyone that much detail about your life."

"I tell you stuff."

Cal could hear her pout easily through the darkness. He thrust a little harder. She gave a moan of delight. His ears strained to hear the faintest sounds in the blackness and so he pushed to hear more.

"Oh god Cal," Gillian's hands moved under his arms and smoothed down his sides to his waist. "You fuck me so good. Every time."

Cal gave a little groan. "You have such a filthy mouth when you've been drinkin'. And I love it."

Gillian gave a little giggle and then she gave it up to focus on breathing. The banter stopped. Cal pushed harder until the bed started banging against the wall and he stopped abruptly. "Don't stop!" Gillian demanded loudly.

"Shhh," Cal immediately told her. He shifted back and she grumped. He told her to be quiet again, pulling her slightly to the side.

"What are you doing?" Gillian demanded.

"Movin'."

"Moving away," Gillian huffed.

"Calm down grumpy," Cal told her positioning himself again.

"It's just that I miss you when you're gone."

"Gosh you talk a load of rubbish when you're pissed."

"I'm not that pissed!" Gillian cried.

"Please be quiet," Cal begged. "Don't wake Lily." He brought his tempo up hard and fast. The bed rocked side to side now, not against the wall. "I don't want to have to stop," he whispered the last part.

"I don't want you to stop either," Gillian brought her hands to his waist again to grip him. She gave a series of short moans as Cal pushed on her diaphragm. "Ever. Don't stop. Ever."

**PJPJPJPJ**


	7. Chapter 7

**PJPJPJPJ**

The needle bit down into Cal's skin and he steeled himself against the pain of it. It wasn't a pain that was sharp and quick and forgotten, it was a pain that ground against his nerve endings. He broke out in a light sweat, his skin prickling hot while his hands and feet went cold as blood retracted to protect his internal organs; acting as though he were under attack. He was under attack, assaulted with a man with a needle but Cal didn't fight back because this was actually what he wanted. Insane as it was, which he thought almost every time he got more ink embedded under his skin.

"You doing ok?" Gillian asked from the spectator's chair.

"Yep," Cal breathed.

"There's no way you're going to talk me into getting one."

He gave her a slight smile. "What happened to tit for tat?"

"I don't recall ever making that deal with you."

"Hm," Cal pretended to muse. "Must have imagined it then." He rested his head back against the chair and closed his eyes while the artist continued to work on his chest.

Gillian watched Cal's face carefully. He was relatively peaceful but she suspected at least some of it was bravado. The truth was, she loved his tattoos and was flattered on an epic scale that he was getting a piece done with her specifically in mind. Not that he was going to let her see it until it was done. Too bad if she hated it. Not that that should matter. His tattoos had always been for him, and for everyone else to love/admire/wonder about. She thought they were sexy on him, he was the kind of man who could pull them off. She thought about getting one too. But thinking about the pain was about as far as she got.

Today was a very special occasion. It was their wedding anniversary. Their fourth (the thought made Gillian shiver in delight). Lily was old enough to be left for several hours in the capable hands of Aunt Kate, while Cal and Gillian took the time to just be alone together. They hadn't made plans (aside from the tattoo) and for once were going to do something spontaneous. Gillian was going to make sure they wandered past a movie theatre. Dinner was definitely on the cards, but when and where were open to whatever whim took their fancy. Spontaneous. Whim. Gillian was so excited!

"Still with me?" The artist, Tom, spoke up.

"Yep," Cal answered immediately.

Forty five minutes later the artist wiped away the last of the blood and excess ink. Cal made a little cave out of his hand to cover the work so Gillian still couldn't see it. She pouted at him. "I'm going to see it eventually," she pointed out.

"And I'll make sure you see it late-a," Cal shot back. "Just you wait."

Tom spread anti-septic vitamin E cream over the broken skin and taped plastic wrap over that too. Cal put his shirt back on, they paid and left. Cal slipped his hand into Gillian's as they walked along the street. Gillian leaned against his arm. "What next my darlin'?" Cal asked cheerfully as they strolled along the street in the early spring air. It wasn't freezing cold anymore but it wasn't entirely warm. Cal opened his arm so she could lean against his chest.

"When do I get to see it?"

"When you get me naked late-a on."

"Mmmm," Gillian hummed as she wrapped her arm around the back of his waist.

"So?" Cal prompted. "What are we gonna do now besides go home and have sex?"

An elderly woman walking past turned her head abruptly as she overheard Cal. Gillian laughed. "I don't think the entire block heard you," she told Cal, who had also noticed their audience.

Cal took a sudden deep breath and opened his mouth. Gillian quickly stuck her finger into his rib. "Ow! God!" Cal objected loudly. He pulled away from her and used his hand to massage the spot. "That really hurts."

"Just keep your filthy mouth between you and me," Gillian warned.

"Am I allowed to get touchy feely?" He gave her a wicked grin.

"So long as it's PG," Gillian told him. Cal held out his hand to her and Gillian willingly took it. They walked in silence for a moment. "I can't help but feel we should be doing something. Rushing to get home to the kids or something."

"Me too!" Cal agreed.

"Diapers or bottles..."

Cal's hand shifted up to her neck and gave it a squeeze. "You need to relax." He checked his watch. "Too late to find a day spa. Would you object to a massage parlour?"

"Yes," Gillian told him bluntly. "Unless you feel the need to wear as little as possible and rub me down with body oils."

"Now who's got a filthy mouth?" Cal queried in a low voice.

"Mmmmm I'm hungry," Gillian announced. "Feed me."

"All right," Cal followed. "What do you want?"

"Food. Did you not hear me?"

Cal gave a slight smile. "Shall I pick then?"

They walked a few more meters until they were in the beginnings of a cafe district. Cal strolled along as if he had a purpose now and abruptly turned into a business. He perused the menu and decided he liked it, all of this done in silence and then found them a table to sit outside in the late afternoon sun. "I love it when you're so decisive," Gillian told him with a loaded tone of voice. She smoothed her foot up his calf.

"Behave you," Cal told her pointedly.

A waiter approached with menus. She introduced herself as Cloe. She told them the specials and asked if they wanted something to drink. Cal indicated Gillian first. She got a glass of white wine. Cal had a light beer; he was driving. They ordered bread and pesto to start and then sat and perused their menus. Gillian read down her menu quickly, her eyes searching out something she would find interesting. She could feel Cal's gaze on her. She gave a slight smile and rubbed her foot up his calf again. She felt him shift in his chair. And then his eyes dropped from her face and neck and she smiled a little deeper. Four years of marriage and he was still in love with her. Good to know.

"I'm going to have the fettuccini," Gillian announced.

"No!" Cal complained immediately. "You can't have somethin' we'd cook at home."

"We'd cook everything on this menu at home," Gillian pointed out.

"No, we neva have steak. Or," Cal's eyes quickly scanned down his still open menu. He got right to the bottom. "Oh look they've got truffle and veal tortellini's."

"You're right, we'd never have that at home. Have you seen how expensive it is?"

"Gillian," Cal looked up to stare her in the eye. "We are celebratin' our god damn weddin' anniversary. So celebrate it!" Gillian gave a slight giggle. Cal pointed at her. "Flirtin' is a good start."

"Oh really?" Gillian teased. She slipped her heel off under the table and ran her foot all the way up his thigh.

Cal just about jumped out of his chair. He looked stunned and then he seemed tense and finally he settled on telling her off. "Not _that_ flirty. I won't make it through dinna."

Gillian gave him a bemused smile. She ran her toes down his thigh again.

"How can you even reach?" Cal asked in amazement while he gripped his menu too tightly.

"You know how flexible I am."

"Oh god," Cal groaned softly. "If you can't behave it'll be straight home to bed!"

"Promise?" Gillian teased.

"Geeze," Cal looked away at his menu again. "Suggest flirty to you and you go batty."

Gillian laughed. "What are you going to have?" She asked slipping her toes back into her shoe, not that she was giving up that easily.

"Hmm," Cal scanned down his menu.

"No wait, let me pick something for you," Gillian opened her menu again. "Seeing as you picked for me." Out of the corner of her eye she felt Cal watch her for a moment and then close his menu. Gillian perused again, looking for something that Cal would like. She found pork chops with apple flavoured mash and green vegetables sautéed in orange infused butter.

"Sounds good," Cal approved.

Their bread arrived and they ordered their mains. Gillian let her foot rest against Cal's, just to remind him that she was still there. Cal raised his glass in a toast, to them of course. The sun also insisted on its presence. Gillian basked in the start of another endless summer, her husband's eyes on her as she adjusted her cardigan to let more rays onto her chest. She flicked her hair back. She was actually quite enjoying this. It had been a long while since she had flirted. Cal signalled the waiter and asked her for a jug of water.

"Not a problem," Cloe answered politely.

"The sun's getting hot," Gillian noted.

"Yeah," Cal agreed too quickly.

Gillian looked over at him. "You're staring."

"What do you expect?" Cal shot back.

"Can you put some pesto on a piece of bread for me?" Gillian asked lightly.

Cal leaned forward to oblige, half way through he seemed to click. "What's wrong with your arms?"

"It's so far away," Gillian tried.

Cal finished spreading pumpkin and mozzarella dip onto the piece of ciabatta. He sat back in his chair with it in his hand. Gillian watched him evenly, waiting to see what he would do. After a moment Cal leaned forward and offered it to her. Gillian gave him a brilliant smile. "Thanks sweetie!"

Cal chuckled. "I know when I'm bein' played."

Gillian pouted at him.

"You can't lie to me."

"Did I try?" Gillian challenged back.

"Ah shit it's gonna be a long night," Cal leaned forward again to spread more pumpkin dip onto a piece of sourdough.

"Oh you have _no_ idea," Gillian said with feeling. Cal dropped the knife. It clattered over the plate to the table top and Gillian laughed. "You did request flirty."

"I know. But I can't get up from the table right now and I actually need to pee," Cal leaned over the table towards her to speak in a loud whisper.

Gillian laughed again. "Ok I'll lay off so you can use the bathroom."

"Thank you," Cal responded stiffly.

"This dip is really nice."

"It is," Cal agreed.

"Do you think Lily's ok? It's the first time we've left her."

"She'll be fine. It's more like the rest of them you should worry about."

"Aw don't joke," Gillian felt a pang. "Maybe I should call and see if they're ok."

"Don't you dare!" Cal's hand shot out to catch her wrist. "She'll be fine. Kate's kids torture us just as much when they come ova."

Gillian gave him an even expression.

"All right, they just torture _me_," Cal corrected. "Lily will be fine and Kate is more than experienced in dealin' with cryin' kids. This is a terrible subject change. Go back to flirtin'."

"Show me the tattoo," Gillian said instead.

"No you have to wait until I can clean it up a bit. Get the blood and excess ink off. Othawise it won't be pretty." He gave a pout. "And it's very pretty."

Gillian gave a slight smile. She had done some light snooping to see if she could find out what he was getting done before hand. But she wasn't as skilled as Cal in the spying department because she worried about getting caught too much to really be invested. "Did you hear about the earthquake in Yemen?"

"That's good, gettin' me to think about dead kiddies in the middle of our date. Way to kill the mood."

"You want to go to the bathroom or not?" Gillian told him pointedly.

"Gettin' a bit desperate," Cal gave a little wince.

"The Lightman Group made a donation."

"Oh did it?" Cal raised an eyebrow.

"For the relief effort," Gillian clarified. She reached for another piece of bread. "And for the record. They haven't listed any fatalities yet. The Lightman Group donated medical supplies to those that survived."

"They're lucky no one's been killed."

"I'd say they're very lucky."

Cal got up suddenly. "Be right back."

Gillian smirked at his retreating form as he quickly rushed inside. She gave a light laugh and finished her bread, brushing crumbs from her fingers and her lap. A group of ten arrived at the cafe, were greeted by Cloe, and were shown inside to their table. Gillian sipped her wine, loving how the fresh light flavour reminded her of spring. Hope and new beginnings. Fate and whatever it had in store for her.

Cal came back and dropped heavily into his chair. Gillian watched him, still amused, over the rim of her wine glass. "Better?" she asked innocently.

"Much betta," Cal agreed. He took a swig of his beer as he watched her. "You look gorgeous this aftanoon."

Gillian gave him a slow smile. "Thank you. I think you look gorgeous too."

"How many times I gotta tell you? Blokes are handsome."

"You're gorgeous to me," Gillian told him as she put her glass back down on the table.

Cal gave a slight grin. "All right then, ready?"

Gillian raised her eyebrows, a silent 'for what' and then when Cal started undoing the buttons of his shirt they went higher, a silent 'what are you doing?' Cal only undid the first three buttons and then pulled the material to the side so his chest was exposed above his heart, where his new tattoo had just been laid down. "I'm allowed to see now?" Gillian leaned forward eagerly.

"Yep," Cal leaned forward too so she could see. The tattoo was no bigger than the length of Gillian's palm. It was red around the edges, the skin slightly swollen in protest. Cal must have cleaned it off in the bathroom, despite telling her she would have to wait until they were at home. The word 'promise' was marked out in handwriting that looked very similar to Cal's and above that, it took her a moment to recognise the image, but when she did, her heart beat a little quicker as she realised what he had done. The graphic above the word 'promise' was the silhouette of two hands gripping in a 'pinky swear'. Cal's gift to her on their fourth wedding anniversary was a permanent 'pinky swear'.

"Now I'll always keep that promise," Cal told her. He closed his shirt again and re-buttoned just as their main meals arrived.

Gillian waited for the waitress to disappear inside again before she spoke. Not that she could form words properly then anyway. "That's..."

"Too much?" Cal asked picking up his cutlery. "Cos it's kind of hard to take that back now."

"No, it's perfect," Gillian corrected and felt a flash of tears.

"Why are you upset?" Cal was immediately concerned.

"I'm not upset," Gillian told him quickly. "I'm overwhelmed."

"At least you're not undawhelmed," he gave a cocky grin and Gillian smiled.

She shook her head slightly. "No, I've never been underwhelmed by you Cal."

"That's good to know. Now eat. So we can go home and have lots of sex."

**PJPJPJPJ**


	8. Chapter 8

_AN: M rated chapter._

**PJPJPJPJ**

"And then if you're a good boy..." Gillian whispered in her husband's ear as she ran her hand up his thigh.

"Oh god, stop," Cal groaned immediately. "I'm serious. I'm gonna have a bloody car accident if you carry on."

"You wanted flirty," Gillian pouted with a smile as she moved further back into her seat on her side of the car. She wasn't offended, in fact, she was pleased.

"I did, god, I know I did, but I just, you've neva been so damn good at it." He glanced over at her quickly. "You been practisin'?"

Gillian laughed. "No. Maybe you've just never been on the receiving end of the full force of it."

Cal shook his head. "I don't think I have. I'm pretty sure you would have killed me with it. You need a license."

"Or maybe I've never needed to with you."

"There is that," Cal clicked his fingers like she had just voiced an epiphany. "Wait, does that make me easy?"

"A little bit yeah."

He glanced over at her again so she gave him a grin. He chuckled. "I think it's just that you have me wrapped around your little finga."

"Same thing," Gillian gave a shrug. They drove on in silence for a moment longer. "You know," she shifted again so she was leaning towards him. "All the flirting... it makes me horny too."

Cal's hands tightened on the steering wheel again. "I was just calmin' down!"

"I know," Gillian responded smugly.

"You're playin' me aren't you?"

"Yes."

Cal gave another groan and slowed down for a light. He looked over at her and then deliberately shifted his hand to adjust his trousers. "You know I'm very uncomfortable right now."

Gillian gave him a sweet smile. "Awww. I'll make it better when we get home."

"You betta," Cal warned lightly. "All this teasin'..."

"Trust me, it leads to something," Gillian assured him. "Something great."

Cal stared at her for a long time without blinking. Desperation was mixed with hunger. She could _feel_ his muscles coiled with tension from where she sat, leaning towards him, less than a foot of distance between them. "Cal," she told spoke gently. "The light has changed."

He blinked and seemed to come to and turned to face the road again, "Right."

Gillian let them drive in silence for a few minutes longer. Then she started to think of other things she could talk about that would make him crazy. But nothing felt quite right and she felt she had made her point... He was turned on. She could see that. And so was she. The promise of sex was there. She had done enough. Now the silence itself was compounding on the ideas she had already planted.

Cal sped up their driveway and slammed the breaks just before he nudged the shelves in the back of the garage with the front of his car. He turned in his seat before he'd even switched the ignition off and grabbed Gillian to bring her lips within kissing distance. He gave a satisfied moan as their mouths pressed together; the first effort at relieving the tension was soothing. Gillian heard the click of her seat belt and Cal's hands rough on her arms as he moved her and the strap so it would recoil back into place. Freed, Gillian pressed closer against him while he kissed her ferociously. Then the click of his catch and his rough movements as he also let his belt spring back to its home base. Cal pulled her closer still until the gear shift was digging painfully into her thigh. She pulled away from him, breathing heavily, "you know there's a perfectly good bedroom inside."

"We haven't done it in the car," Cal pointed out, his forehead resting against hers while he also got some air.

"And one day, if we're ever stuck in a snowstorm on the interstate, then we can definitely have sex in the car. But while there's a comfy bed..." Cal cut her off by pressing his mouth against hers. "Inside," Gillian added while Cal's hand slid up her thigh. She quivered and then slowly pried his hands off of her and finally pulled away from his lips and pressed herself against the far side of the car. Cal was leaning so far over she thought he might actually fall into her lap. Not that that would be a bad thing.

"What was that?" Cal asked almost instantly.

"What?"

"Whateva just went through your mind. It was deliciously naughty."

Gillian gave him a smug grin. "Wouldn't you like to know?" She reached for the handle and pulled it.

"No!" Cal complained. "Tell me. I want to know," he implored as Gillian got out of the car.

Too much of her own blood must have moved south as well because as Gillian got to her feet she felt lightheaded. She certainly hadn't drunk that much at dinner for this very reason. She had a game to play with Cal. "Come on," she coaxed through the open door. Cal looked up at her like he was being rebuffed. She closed the car door gently and started to slowly walk away. She saw Cal turn in the car abruptly and as she moved into the house proper, heard the door slam shut and his shoes on the concrete of the garage floor. He rushed. He might have even run. Impressive that he could move so quickly when he wanted to.

Gillian walked backwards through the internal door into the hallway. "Good boy," she encouraged with another smirk as Cal caught up to her easily. Gillian walked herself backwards into the nearest wall and Cal's mouth crashed down onto hers a second later. She loved the feeling of being trapped against the wall and his body. His mouth was hot and relentless and his hands tugged at various sections of her clothing but seemed unable to make any coherent moves to undressing her.

Cal shifted his mouth to her neck and his hands further down to lift under her dress. Gillian bucked at the feeling of his firm fingers over her thighs. He didn't give himself a lot of room to move because his hips were pressed tightly against hers and they rocked into her slowly as he hungrily teased her neck. "Ugh god you smell amazin'," Cal groaned against her skin.

Gillian smoothed her hands over the back of Cal's shoulders. "Good boy, use your words," she encouraged. Cal gave another little grunt as he spread kisses around her neck to the other side and teased her ear lobe. "Mmmm," Gillian hummed as she hugged him closer to her chest. "Can't hear you."

"Uh," Cal seemed momentarily flustered. "Um, what do you want me to say? You're far sexi-a than any otha woman I know because I know you so damn well and I know exactly where that sexiness comes from?"

"Where does it come from?" Gillian breathed into his ear.

"Confidence and bein' secure in your own skin and oh god," he groaned again as Gillian traced her tongue around his ear. "Smokin' hot body." His fingers dug into the top of her thighs and held on for dear life. He ground his hips into her harder than before and it was enough for Gillian's breathing to suddenly go out of synch. Even more blood flooded south and she gasped for air while clinging on to him like he was her lifeline.

"Bedroom," she panted desperately. "Now. Right now Cal." She pushed her hips off the wall and then her shoulders and they staggered while they kissed down the hallway, tugging at clothing but not finding enough of a purchase to make headway. Gillian stumbled in her heels and Cal caught her easily. She kicked them off. Then they kissed, standing in the middle of their bedroom floor, their arms so tightly around each other, the press of their chests was almost painful. They kissed until Gillian felt like she might suffocate (which she conceded to herself, really wouldn't be a bad way to go).

"I have a surprise for you," Gillian told him, pushing the straps of her dress from her shoulders. "Zip," she instructed him and he dropped his hand immediately to feel for the zipper in the back. He tugged the closure open and pushed the material down over her hips so it fell to the floor in a heap. Cal's eyes widened when she was exposed to him and she could see how dark his pupils had gotten.

"Wow," Cal breathed and actually took a step back to see her better. His hand readjusted his trousers suddenly.

"Happy anniversary," Gillian supplied quietly. She watched as Cal's eyes roved up over her chest and down to her feet, and then back again, making her skin prickle in the new underwear. He continued to stare as he closed the gap between them again, as if he couldn't bring himself to tear his eyes away.

"So sexy," he told her, his eyes full of lust, as his hands found their way to her upper arms and he pulled her towards him as he met her from the other direction. Gillian bit her bottom lip slightly, a little shock wave of desire squirming its way through her abdomen. She sighed into him before he kissed her again. His body temperature had ratcheted up several notches so when she pressed against him she felt warmer. She could also feel how hard he was without even using her hands.

"Shoes," she managed between addictive kisses.

"Huh?"

"Take your shoes off," Gillian told him. Cal shifted is weight back and forth as he kicked his shoes off too. "Socks," Gillian prompted. Cal bent slightly to oblige flicking his socks to the side. He seemed eager and Gillian realised he quite liked being told what to do. "Belt," she told him next. "Just the belt."

Cal's fingers fumbled with his own catch as he moved hurriedly. Gillian thought about stepping in to help him as she watched amused, but he got it and pulled it so quickly out of the belt loops that it snapped against his arm. Gillian gave him a little amused smile, "Good boy." Cal gave her a slight grin in return. He moved towards her again but Gillian stepped back, "Uh uh. Shirt." Cal reached for the buttons. "Nope," she shook her head at him as she reached with her fingers. She pried his hand away, "me."

Cal immediately dropped his hands to his sides. Gillian started at the top and worked her way down. When she reached the last she slipped her hand down the front of his pants. Cal threw his head back. "Oh God!" Then he looked mortified, "Oops." And almost instantly on the heels of that was relief. "Oh wait, I don't have to be quiet."

Gillian grinned, "No you don't."

Cal's returning grin faded slowly. He closed his eyes and grimaced, "Please luv, stop teasin' me. I'm worried I'm gonna lose it."

"Not so fun when the teasing is on the other foot huh?" Gillian removed her hand and instead brought both up to push his shirt down his shoulders and arms.

"To be fair, you've been teasin' me since we woke up."

Gillian gave a small smile. With the shirt gone she undid the button of Cal's trousers and the zipper. She couldn't help but have her fingers all over him and as she reached behind him to push the material of his trousers down his backside she stepped forward and whispered into his ear. "I can't help it. I just want to touch you."

Cal's hips bucked into her. He groaned loudly, his hands gripping her hips. "Please, go ahead, before I embarrass myself and just come in my pants."

Gillian gripped the elastic of his underwear and pushed it down. "Wait for me."

"I'm tryin'!"

Gillian followed his underwear down over his thighs, freeing him abruptly from his underwear. Cal gave a strained sigh. His hands were forced to shift from her hips to her shoulders as she knelt in front of him. She tapped the inside of his ankle to tell him to lift his foot, then the other. She threw his underwear to the side amongst the pile of his clothes. She looked up at him. His eyes were screwed shut and she was aware of the pressure of his finger tips against her flesh. He was already so huge and throbbing and turned on Gillian thought she might have to rethink her battle plan. "Cal?"

"Yes?" He ground out.

"Am I going to have to send you for a cold shower?"

Gillian waited and after a second Cal opened his eyes to look at her. "That might be a good idea."

"Ok," she gave him a slight smile and got to her feet again. Cal looked a little shocked. She took him by the hand and started to back up slowly. "Mind if I join you though?" Cal gave an incoherent response but his eyes widened slightly "Didn't think I would let you do anything in there that I wouldn't do for you, did you?" His eyes got wider. Gillian pushed the bathroom door open with her free hand and stepped over the cold tiles to the fluffy mat in front of the sink. She kept going until her searching hand felt the cool glass of the shower door. "Cos I have a plan and you're not going to ruin it. So," she popped the door open and raised her other hand that was entwined within the fingers of Cal's and pushed him back a step so she wouldn't accidently touch him but could also open the door fully.

She tugged him towards her again and stepped carefully within the shower cubicle, pulling him mutely along behind her. She turned the water on and gasped loudly as the first cold stream gushed over her head. She was aware of her heart pounding with adrenaline, her first reaction to run. "Door," she told Cal. He reached for it obediently and closed it. Gillian pulled him into the stream of water and felt his body spasm from the shock.

"Bloody hell!" He complained loudly. He tugged his hand free of hers and wiped the water out of his eyes. Then he looked her up and down. She was still in her underwear and her skin had puckered from the shock of the cold. "I'm not sure this is helpin'," he growled. He had an arm around her quickly, pulling her against his chest to kiss her deeply.

Gillian turned them so Cal's back was against the spray. She broke away from him and shivered. "Turn around," she instructed. Cal obeyed, brushing against her as he moved. Gillian shivered again; a different reason this time. She rested her chin on his shoulder, her left hand slipping into his. "Now think about baseball."

"Can't. Thinkin' about you."

"You can't see me."

"You think that's gonna stop me from fantasisin'? I know what you look like with my eyes closed. I know what you look like with your eyes closed, squirmin' beneath me in ecstacy..."

"Ok," Gillian tried to cut him off.

"Callin' out my name..."

"Stop!" Gillian told him, feeling a flood of heat between her thighs. She placed her lips to his shoulder, tonguing over his wet skin, the freshness of the water contrasting against the warmth of his body.

"You can't lie to me..."

"Trust me, I would never dare."

"I know you want me as badly as I want you."

"I wasn't denying that Cal."

"Am I ruinin' your game?"

"You're making me rethink my plans."

Cal's head shifted to look down and Gillian raised herself up on her tip toes to see over his shoulder. From there she could see the black ink and red swell of his new tattoo. "Not really workin' luv."

"You're not thinking about baseball at all are you?"

"Not when you're pressing your breasts into my back and lettin' me talk dirty..."

Gillian gave a little sigh. She moved her idle right hand around his hip and gripped him close to his pelvis. His entire body twitched. She stroked up firmly.

"Oh god! What are you doin!" Cal's voice rose so high it almost got lost over the sound of the water running.

"Changing my plans."

"No! Wait! I can..." he stopped, words lost for a moment as Gillian kissed his neck. "I can control myself," he finished weakly.

"Sure you can," Gillian told him gently. "Just not on this occasion."

"I'm sorry," Cal moaned as his hips rocked in time with her hand. "I'd ratha shag you too."

"And you better. But later. We have time. Hours until we have to pick the kids up from the babysitter."

"Uh, no!" He took her wrist and pulled her hand away. "No, I want to wait. It's our anniversary. I want to do it togetha." He turned, his left hand pulling out of hers. "What you need," he told her as he leaned into her neck. "Is to catch up." He kissed along her neck, sucking up the water on her skin like she had done a moment ago. "And fast," he growled as their bodies came into contact.

Gillian shivered but she was no longer sure it was because of the cold water or because Cal's tongue knew every pore of her skin and how to get a reaction out of it. His hands wrapped around behind her and unclasped her bra in an expert way. "Let's get you out of these wet clothes before you catch a chill," he murmured near her ear as he slowly peeled the straps over her arms. He felt his way because he refused to step back. Gillian smoothed her hands over his shoulders, searching out for the tell-tale gooseflesh that would tell her he was also cold. The water pounded into his back. His skin was cool to the touch but not puckered like hers. Between them though, where their skin made contact, it was delightfully hot.

Cal's hands came up to her breasts, pressing firmly against both of them. Gillian leaned into his palms, wanting to feel the weight of him too. But she was careful of the lower half of her torso and it seemed Cal was conscious of his too because they didn't stand that close to each other. Cal dipped his head to her chest, licking and sucking up the water that ran in slow rivers over her skin. The water continued to pound off his back and misted into her face as he lowered his altitude further, his fingertips dipping beneath the elastic of the matching lace underwear. He was preparing to get on his knees before Gillian tugged his hair. "No. Not here."

Cal's hands kneaded her ass. "Where? Please tell me where?"

"Bedroom."

Cal's hands slid easily over her wet skin, up her spine to the back of her shoulders. He kissed her roughly so Gillian bit his lip and he drew back sharply. "We could stay here."

"It's slippery," Gillian pointed out.

Cal looked over his shoulder as if he was calculating just how far away the bedroom was.

"And there's not as much friction this way."

Cal quivered.

"Turn the water off," Gillian demanded and he immediately complied. She gave a slight smile as the room suddenly got very quiet and she could hear just how heavily he was breathing. She pushed on the shower cubicle door. Despite all the teasing, and the enticing wetness of their bodies, Cal was getting a firmer grip on his self control. He kept his hands on her as they moved to the bedroom, fingers in her underwear and over her hips; intermittent kisses and caresses and a throbbing desire to feel each other.

"Are we done with the teasin' yet?"

"It's called foreplay Cal."

"Foreplay that starts at nine in the mornin'?"

"Yes."

"I want you so badly," he moaned, almost whined; he was complaining and he tugged her closer to him. "I swear to god, I'm gonna make a mess on the bedroom floor if..."

"So take me," Gillian murmured against his mouth as she tugged him towards her hips and rubbed hers against him. Cal let out a low guttural growl and the sound, accompanied with feeling just how hard he was, and how desperately he was holding on, had Gillian hot and scratching at him for more. She pulled and Cal pushed and she was aware she was falling. The soft bounce of the mattress assured her of where she was as Cal smothered her in kisses again, his hot skin flush against hers now. It reminded her of trying to have sex in the back of her boyfriend's car in high school; a kaleidoscopic twist of limbs and kisses; insatiable hunger and a lack of self control.

Cal ripped her underwear away from her and unceremoniously slipped a finger inside her. "You been windin' yourself up too huh?"

Gillian squirmed down on his finger and tried to catch her breath. He curled it and she arched against him. "Yes!" She struggled out. "Of course."

Cal withdrew his finger and forcibly moved her legs while Gillian grabbed his shoulders and pulled him towards her. She set him off balance and he fell to lean on an elbow. He looked up at her and grinned. He got closer and gave her a sweet kiss. "I love you, you know that?"

Gillian gave him a smile while she drew air into her lungs at an accelerated rate. "Yeah I know that." She pulled him closer again to kiss him firmly as he pushed into her at the new, steadier pace. Gillian tilted her hips and wrapped her legs around his waist. She could feel Cal's leg muscles straining against the bed as he pressed until he had pushed all the way in.

"Oh," Cal moaned. Gillian gasped several breaths. Cal looked down on her carefully. "All right?" He whispered. She nodded quickly. As her body adjusted and the slight shock wore off she could feel the throbbing returning, hers and his mixed together and she thought about what it would be like to never have this again. Cal rubbed his pubic bone against her and sent her into another desperate grab for air as her muscles seized at the sensation. When her head cleared again she realised both his arms were wrapped around her shoulders; he was hugging her close to him.

"Love me," Gillian murmured, when what she meant was 'make love to me'. Words weren't coming as easily as they usually did.

Cal drew out of her in his slow measured way and Gillian literally felt herself start to breathe easier, right along with immediately wanting him back. And Cal complied; his desire matching hers perfectly without her having to say a word. Gillian sighed and remembered her hands. She threaded fingers into the hair at the back of his neck, not letting him move too far away as he pulled back yet again. Cal took one arm away from her to hold himself up; the angle created a deeper friction and Cal moaned loudly. "Are you goin' to be terribly mad at me if this doesn't last long?" He started moving a little faster; his voice was strained.

Gillian clung on, unable to answer, feeling her heart beating too hard, her body throbbing, an itch, that Cal hadn't scratched for her yet, building to the point of uncomfortableness.

"Gill?" Cal asked again, whispering in her ear.

Gillian thought she might have formed a word but she wasn't sure. Cal pushed into her again and rubbed their bodies together and Gillian threw her head back as if she had suddenly been electrocuted. To be fair, she didn't actually think she could stand much more.

"I'm doin' my best," Cal's voice sounded desperate in her ear. His tempo inched up another notch.

"Ok," Gillian murmured back. Her fingernails scratched into the back of his shoulder as she clawed him, wanting more, so much more. "More," she told him. "Please."

Cal gave a grunt in compliance and thrust harder, faster. "Shit Gillian!" And Gillian thought '_I know' _but the words got lost in her throat. Cal started groaning and Gillian found herself mimicking his moans until they both started crying out nonsense to the room as they drove closer and closer to the edge.

Their breathing was erratic and their movements fraught with desperation until finally it seemed Cal couldn't take it anymore. "I'm gonna," he panted. "I'm sorry."

Gillian's desperate thought was '_don't go there without me'_. She gripped him harder, her body coiling tighter. She bucked her hips against him, trying to tell him without words what she needed. Cal shifted his weight to one hand and pushed his other between them. His fingers were rough, but purposeful and there was no way she could have held off even if she wanted to. She was tipped into ecstasy by the feeling of her husband loving her.

Cal came so hard he arched his back, like he was howling at the ceiling, and let out a long drawn out cuss as he froze up. Gillian looked up at him as the last vestiges of her pleasure rippled out of her abdomen. He stayed that way for a long minute, like he was holding a pose to be sculpted, like he was on show for her. Gillian looked over his chest, the new tattoo that was still angry red and his hips that became lost amongst her thighs.

"Oh god!" Cal moaned, seeming to come to his senses again. He moved away from her, falling heavily to the mattress beside her, face down. "I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure, that's the hardest I've eva come in my life."

A slight laugh escaped Gillian's throat. She rolled into him and petted the hair at the back of his neck. "Aw who's my good boy huh? Such a good boy," she kissed the side of his neck, where his head was turned. Leaning over him she could see his eyes were closed.

"I'm a good boy cos I held on for so long?"

"Yes," Gillian kissed his temple. "That's exactly it."

"Happy fuckin' anniversary," Cal grumped.

"It sure was," Gillian agreed happily.

Cal gave a chuckle. "Did I pass your test then?"

"Very much so," Gillian murmured in his ear.

"Mmmm," Cal groaned again. "I love that we didn't have to be quiet for once. I love it when you scream out my name."

Gillian gave a slight smirk even though he wasn't watching her face. "Is that what I said?"

"You don't rememba?" Cal asked amused.

"Nope. I just had no idea what I said in the actual moment."

"Perhaps I should consider myself lucky you even said my name," Cal turned on to his back.

"I love the tattoo."

"Yeah?" Cal gave her his 'pleased with himself grin'.

"Now I feel like I have to get one to reciprocate."

"You don't have to get permanent ink darlin'. I know. That's enough."

"Do you know?"

"Course I do."

"I mean, do you really know Cal," Gillian shifted so she was leaning on her elbows and facing him. She had spoken with meaning and she watched him now with a hint of worry in her eyes. She was serious. She wanted a serious answer.

Cal trailed his hand up her bare arm. "Course I know."

"I know last year," she stopped suddenly, her throat closing over abruptly. "I almost ruined it," she whispered.

"Hey," Cal spoke gently. "It's all right. It worked out for the best." He knew exactly what she was talking about.

"It almost feels bitter sweet now."

"Don't say that."

"It wouldn't have been worth the risk of losing you."

"You haven't."

"You reached the absolute limit didn't you?"

"Yes."

Gillian nodded gravely.

"Come here," Cal coaxed. Gillian shifted forward a little. Cal rested his hands on each of her cheeks and lifted his head to give her a sweet kiss.

**PJ**

"Cal," Gillian leaned over his sleeping form.

"Hmm?"

"I'm going to get the kids."

Cal lifted his head, bleary eyes blinking in confusion. "Is it time already?"

"Yes," she smoothed her hand down the back of his head. "But it's ok. It's still early. We can put them to bed and then," she leaned down to kiss his earlobe. "Carry on," she added softly.

"I'll come with you," Cal attempted to turn over.

Gillian pressed on his shoulder, "no you stay. I won't be long." She leaned down again to kiss his cheek. "I need you rested up." She couldn't see Cal's returning smirk because their bedroom was dim but she heard him chuckle and it caused her to smile. They had made it to four years of marriage. It wasn't anything close to being like a bed of roses but then she hadn't realistically expected it to be.

Gillian pulled their bedroom door close on her naked husband and headed into the garage. To be honest, she had expected a different set of problems. And most of them she would have pinned on Cal's responsibility. Cal liked to run off to be the hero and Gillian mothered. That's who he was and that's who she was and it had come down to not attempting to change the other, or trying to control the other, but tolerating and dealing. It felt like they had reached the point of accepting and being grateful for what they had: each other, a family, genuine happiness.

Gillian turned the engine over of her car. She waited for the garage door to go up and smiled to herself as she turned to back out.

And a really, really, really great sex life!

**PJPJPJPJ**

_AN: yes it's the final chapter. I could have dragged this out a little longer with shorter chapters but I didn't really see any point. It is what it is, and that is a little fic-let to tie up the end of part 4 (and part 3 because in my mind they are an extension of each other) properly, once and for all etc. From here, I feel like they're on the same page and are going to move forward by each other's side in much the same era as part one/two. If there is a part six, then this would be the bridge to lead in to it. Thank you for your support and reviews. It is always so much easier to write to an audience, and it's nice to know you are out there._

_Read you around sometime..._

_PJ_


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